Happy 30th Birthday, ToolKit!




Man, and you guys thought I was kidding when I said that my brother has a lower alcohol tolerance than me. BOY, WERE YOU WRONG. When we met up with Terence at Oslo's, he was already plastered... off TWO shots. I love it.

Anyway, hope you had a fun birthday, T. Even though uhm, YOU DIDN'T CALL ME ON MINE.

Yeah, I'm still bitter about that.

This coming Thursday marks ASR's 2nd annual charity lingerie party. You should come and support us! That way, you won't feel too bad about wanting to do dirty things to the scantily-clad mens and womens that will be there since all proceeds go to Austin Children Shelter.

C'mon! It's for a good cause!

[Edit]

For those of you who didn't come to our party, this is a little preview of what you missed:



Hey, a tornado warning and flood watch is not a good excuse for missing out on girls in minimal clothing.

[/Edit]

H A P P Y     E A S T E R !

Hope you all have a great Easter Sunday.

Because this is when Jesus died for our sins and was resurrected 3 days later in the form of a giant bunny that likes to hide mulit-colored eggs.



Love,
Me

Congratulations to my beautiful ASR Lambda little ones!




You girls rock me so hard. Am I the luckiest pledge mom, or what?

It never fails. For the past four Thursdays, I have:

Gone out to Sixth

Gotten my BAC level higher than the legal limit

Seen the same goddamn people at Bar Asia - remind me again why we always choose to end up there?

NOT gotten the bratwurst I so secretly desire

Drunk dialed my boyfriend and probably told him some really embarrassing things

Fallen asleep without brushing my teeth or washing my face - yuck

Got woken up by the fucking leaf-blower guy at 8 in the fucking morning

Been too incapacitated to do anything else for the rest of the weekend

Ahh, there's nothing quite like spending a lovely Friday morning with a delicious hangover.

I'm going to try to go back to sleep now. But before I go, lettme ask you this question:

When did it become funny to slip something into a girl's drink, and when she catches you red-handed, proceed to tell her that it's Tylenol and you were just joking around? Yeah, real fucking hilarious, asshole. I hope your arms fall off in a fit of joy.

I'm constantly hungry.

No, you thought that I was always hungry, but you were wrong. Now... NOW I am constantly hungry. I didn't even know what being constantly hungry felt like, until now. Until I cut out rice, pasta, pancakes, juice, fruit, bread, waffles, tomatoes, cookies, chips, pretzels, cereal, potatoes... shit, anything that tastes DELICIOUS from my diet. And if you know me at all, you'd know that I'm the Number One fan of fast food, and anything that had 30g or more of carbs per serving in it. In fact, I think I started an All-Carbs-Fuck-You-Atkins diet just last semester.

But in an attempt to look good by my formal at the end of this month, and to look presentable in a bikini by summer, I've forced myself to go on a fucking diet.

I'm so hungry that I've even Google Imaged the word "hungry" just to see what would show up. Who does that?

So anyway, if I've been irritable lately, or if you're wondering why I'm in such a bad mood, it's because I WANT TO EAT YOUR WHOLE HEAD.

Sleeping for 13 hours last night probably wasn't the best idea seeing how it's currently 8:15 in the morning and I'm still not asleep. I went out on Thursday (again) to support my 10 little ones at their party and (again) got pretty fuckin' throwed. To top it off, I had to go to work hungover (again) on Friday on only 4 hours of sleep and worked for 9 hours straight with no break. So it actually comes as no surprise that I slept so much.

It wasn't until 10pm that I finally rolled out of bed today... last night... Saturday night... uh, whatever. I finally cleaned my room/apartment - which included: throwing away THIRTEEN empty (and some not so empty) bottles of Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper, unpacked my shit from Spring break (which was 3 weeks ago), a months' worth of laundry, vacuumed, cleaned the kitchen and bathroom. I should get a cookie. Only I won't be able to eat it cause my diet says so. Fuck you, low-carb diet!

Speaking of my diet, I've had just about every goddamn type of salad from every fast food joint you could name. After much deliberation and pain-staking research, I've come to the conclusion that the Chicken Spinach Salad from Wendy's is the best.

But I digress. So Phuong and I went out to Wally World at 2am, which I've decided is the best time to ever go to Walmart - no lines, no people, and lots of restocked food. Which is also kind of bad seeing how I managed to spend almost a hundred doll hairs tonight. Boo.

In other news, I want to watch these movies:

V for Vendetta
Thank You for Smoking
Lucky Number Slevin
Ice Age: The Meltdown
Inside Man
Scary Movie 4

So who's up for a severe round of movie hopping with me next weekend? I think if we started at noon, we'd be able to finish all 6... Right?

The first Ice Age is on TV right now and my favorite part of this movie is when Diego the tiger is trying to appease the baby by going "Where's the baby? THERE HE IS!!!" HAHA. Okay, it's so much funnier on tv.

Apparently, I am the worst girlfriend/daughter in the history of the universe. I was completely oblivious to the tornados that hit middle Tennessee on Friday. So here I was, complaining about it being kind of chilly here in Austin, while people were dying or injured, and thousands of homes were destroyed in Tennesee. And I didn't even bother to call my mom or my boyfriend to see if they were okay. Wow, I so lose. And I had this conversation tonight:

It's pretty cold out today.
Really? How cold is it there?
Uhm... low 60's?
Hrm. Yeah, it's about 34 degrees here.
...Oh.

Man, I kind of suck at life.

Anyway, I should probably try going to sleep now. Hope you all had a more exciting weekend than I.

I don't know if you guys already know this, but I've been having some problems with my significant other. Things were going really great with us when we first got together... but I guess as time goes on, complications always arise in any relationship. But it's so bad that it's gotten to the point where we're sleeping in separate rooms, and we're hardly even talking to each other anymore. I've been taking this really hard... harder than I should. Not a moment passes where I don't think about all the amazing moments we've shared. I feel like there is a void in my body, and I feel like a different person. We decided what's going to be best for the both of us right now and see what happens later on in our lives.

Potatoes and I are going on a trial separation.

Some pictures for memories sake:

Me and Potatoes on our beautiful wedding day.


Look how happy we were together... :(


Us out on 6th Street together.

I miss you, Potatoes, and I really hope we can work though this.

FINALLY. Jesus fuckin' Christ almighty. It's been over a month since my last decent update, and now that I've finally gotten all the pictures I've needed (thanks, Julie!), I can do what needs to be done. I apologize sincerly for the severe lack of posts lately... to my like, 3 loyal readers - I love you.

As always, mouseover for comments and click to enlarge.

So here's what had been up for the month of March:

Ben and Mike came to see me for their Spring breaks at the beginning of March. Fun was had, and I didn't have to bail anyone out of jail.

"Time to holla, HOLLA!"

We ate SO much. Trudy's, Din Ho, Pho Van, Coco's, Rudy's BBQ ("This is the best meat I've ever put in my mouth."), Kyotos, Kerbey Lane, Buffet Palace, Magic Wok, Austin's Pizza... all in a span of a week.

It's always great making out-of-towners experience the glory that is the E-Bus, 6th Street, and Mexican Martinis.

Ben's failed attempts at trying to hook up with my roommate (or any girl, for that matter) will always be a favorite memory of mine.

I finally got to hold hands with someone while walking down the Riverwalk as the sun was setting... Well, someone that wasn't Stephanie, anyway.

I spent my Spring break back home in Nashville. And even though it's no Vegas or the beach by any means, it was still a nice change of pace from my hectic life here in Austin.

I took out my eyebrow piercing. We had a good run, but I think it was time to retire it despite us only being together for 8 months. Besides, I told my mom I'd take it out for her.

It's always good seeing old friends, even for a couple of hours. To Big Steve, Esther, Chris, Brian, and Emily - Can't wait to play with you guys over the summer.

I got the sexy time that I needed with my Favorite. Hurray!

Spending quality time with Momzilla is always great. She ended up getting me the nicest gift that anyone has ever given me for my birthday. I'm never taking it off... because I'm going to BRAND IT INTO MY SKIN.

I want to learn how to play drums now more than ever.

The worst part about spending my Spring break in Nashville was the fuckin' weather, and having to leave again.

My 21st birthday was amazing. Thanks to Phuong who cooked me a surprise dinner, Jun and Sarah for eating with me, Stephanie who came into town to celebrate with me, and Julie and Annie for coming downtown to watch me get hammered. Ten (but not really) shots in one hour > Me.



And now the Birthday Shot pictures:




And a good night should end like this:


[Thanks to ALL of you guys who called, IMed, Facebook/text/MySpace messaged me. Y'all fucking rock so hard it's not even funny.]

Last, last weekend, we had 5 Alumns come to Austin. We started Happy Hour at 219, and then proceeded to get shitty on 6th later that night. Oh, how I love my Phuong and Kelli, but not as much as I love Kelli's sexy singing and dancing.

Saturday, ASR had another boat party for Crush. Except no hailing thunderstorms, and thinking we might die this time. Thank you, Andrew, for coming with me so last minute.

Last Thursday, Phuong, Kelli, and I got completely tossed at the GB Alliance party. Highlights: Phuong falling on her head, me throwing up on the E-bus, Kelli too drunk to help anyone... and us not remembering any of it. I like how we always pride ourselves in never getting hammered to the point that we have to take care of each other. And, well, actually, we STILL didn't have take care of each other last night because we were all too smashed to do anything. Loves it.


And blah blah blah, my life has resumed back to normal. I do miss the mom and the boyfriend a hell of a lot though.

But I have you, Fatty. And you make everything alright.