As 2007 comes to a close, what better way to end it than by a stupid online survey!

1) DRINKING BUDDY OF THE YEAR? Phuong. ALWAYS.

2) LIFETIME SERVICE AWARD (longest friend)? Sue. We got in touch again at the end of summer. I've known this girl since I was like, 10.

3) NEWCOMER AWARD - COOLEST NEWEST FRIEND? Sir Anthony, Greg, and Justin.

3) HIGH POINT OF THE YEAR? Spring break in South Padre beach with Foo-dong, Kim, Annie, Mike, Adam, Doug, J. Lew, Teddy Brown, Danae, Dona, Christian, and Wendy.

4) LOW POINT OF THE YEAR? When my Fatty Cat died. :(

5) BEST HOLIDAY? 4th of July (the whole week was dedicated to drinking).

6) YOUR SONG FOR 2007? "Let Me Think About It" - Ida Corr & Fedde La Grande.

7) MOVIE FOR 2007? Pan's Labyrinth. Hands down.

8) WHO DID YOU SPEND VALENTINES WITH? My babies! I got to go home and spend it with him.

9) BEST RELATIONSHIP? Mike.

10) WHAT WERE YOU FOR HALLOWEEN? A referee.

11) RESTAURANT OF THE YEAR? Trudy's. It's never failed me.

12) BOOK OF THE YEAR? Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

13) BEST DECISION MADE THIS YEAR? To quit J. Crew and get away from the horrible cunt beasts that worked there.

14) WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR NEXT YEAR? Moving home after summer. :)

15) MOST STUPID IDEA WHEN DRUNK? Oh God, where do I begin? You were probably there, so why don't you tell me?

16) TV SHOW OF THE YEAR? Planet Earth

17) BIGGEST CHANGE OF THE YEAR? Not living on campus anymore.

18) BIGGEST DOUCHEBAG AWARD? Uhm. Probably me, for being a shitty friend.

19) LAST YEAR RESOLUTION? I think it was to make my cat lose weight. Anyway, sore topic, moving on.

20) NEW YEAR RESOLUTION? Start going to the gym on a regular basis again.

21) SHINING STAR AWARD? Honey, YOU... are... my... shining star. Don't you go away.

I lost the main man in my life today.

For those of you who knew me the last few years, you would have had the pleasure to meet my one and only, Hercules.

Hercules was my fatty cat who's been there for me through the thick and thin. He's seen me through many boyfriends, many fights, many disappointments and embarrassing moments. And yet, he was the only one that never judged me for the stupid decisions I've made in my life. He stuck by me when even my closest friends would have left my sorry ass.

He was the one cat that even people who DESPISED cats, absolutely fell in love with. And he was the one who always kept my bed warm at night so I didn't feel so alone.

But despise all the sad, I want to thank all of you for giving Hercules an amazing life and loving him as much as he loved all of you.

RIP Hercules (1998-2007)

[Edit]: The one thing that brightened up my day was this text message from my mom that I received at work (verbatim):

Tammy, dnot be sadd, herkery she is in the heaven now. Where we will all be there in the future, so we will see her again. Please take care of your toes, see doctor if not get better ok? Pray for you and love you

Wow. I cannot even BEGIN to tell you how amazing this text is. Herkery? Nice. [/Edit]

So my favorite shot to order from Rain is a "Yeah, Baby", because not only is it delicious, but when you ask, "Hey, can I have two Yeah Babies?", they always reply, "Yeah... baby."

And it never gets old.

I got to hang out with my favorite last night, and we did something that we haven't done in a long time - go downtown together. On a Tuesday night. Just us two. Like the alkies we are.

It all started when I got a VIP pass to a Patron party at Qua - free Patron shots all night. Now everyone knows that I absolutely DESPISE tequila... but... who can pass up on a sale, son?

So of course, I had to call Phuong up to see if she wanted to go, and like the trooper she is, she obliged. We get a cab at around 11:30 and we're in front of the bar in 10 minutes. When we get there, the bouncer tells us that they were about to close!!! What bar closes at midnight?? I know that you have to be 25+ to get in, but Jesus, are you really that old that you need to be in bed by midnight? Come on.

We leave Qua to go next door to Rain (go figure), and we find out that Texas is working the bar that night. He hooked us up with some delicious shots:

- Smack That Ass (Like a Yeah Baby, but... pink...)
- Blueberry Pancake (Tastes JUST like what it's named. Crazy)
- German Chocolate Cake (This was my favorite! How does a clear shot end up tasting like chocolate? It's baffling.)
- Upside-down Pineapple Cake (Meh. Good, but didn't compare to the prior.)

After I was good and tipsy, we trekked on over to 6th Street to see what was happening over there. Cause you know, those Tuesday nights tend to get crazy. Right. [By the way, why does 6th Street seem so much further when it's fucking freezing outside???] We stopped by SoHo, got another shot and drink [I've been so spoiled by the good liquor at Rain that well drinks are just plain boo-boo]. As we're trying to make our way to Aquarium/Library/Treasure/Agave/etc, we get stopped by our old friend, Paul. Paul used to be the bouncer at Exodus, and he used to ALWAYS let us in with an armband back when we were still underage. We love Paul. Anyway, he's working at Darwin's now, and he told us he'd buy us a drink if we went in. (and hey, who can pass up a sale, son?). Tuaca bombs for everyone! We ended up staying the rest of the night because A.) It was cold and I didn't want to go outside, and B.) We met some really fun people... like:

- The two guys from Canada (or Canadia, as Phuong likes to call it) who are playing for a hockey team in Amarillo. AMARILLO! Who the fuck plays hockey there?! Tragic.
- C.J. (or J.C., or T.S., or A.J., as Phuong likes to call him) - the guy who owns the bar who kept taking shots with us.
- Ben - the guy who said to Phuong, "You don't look a day over 30." Bitch.

Tammy Tuaca! Haha.


My favorite. :)
Good laughs, watching Phuong be mean to all the guys there, and a few shots later - we decide it's time to go home. Right as we got back, yours truly christened Phuong's apartment complex by throwing up everything she had to eat that night. Man, I bet those plants will grow much stronger and prettier now.

After eating our usual midnight snack (spring rolls and miso soup - yum!), we fell asleep while watching Anastasia, (by "we", I really mean I passed out in the first 5 minutes of the movie, and Phuong stayed up for an additional 2 hours) just like old times. Felt kinda nauseous this morning... but nothing a little Buffet Palace couldn't fix! And boy, was it delicious.

Ahh. Fun times. I miss my roommate.

My boyfriend sent me flowers. Because he loves me more than he loves you. Sorry, but it's true.

To my fellow yellows and FOBs, this one's for you [if you're not fresh off, fresh on, not-so-fresh off, in, on, or even out of the boat, please ignore this post, for you will not understand the glory that is this following video]:

My gay boyfriend, Jasen and I have always said that we should have our own reality TV show. Granted, there would just be a lot of footage of us eating Chick-Fil-A (or Panda Express, or McDonald's, or Side Wok Cafe), taking ridiculous amounts of shots at Rain, talking shit about people at work, and quoting our friend, Shawn. [No, but seriously, we'd make a GREAT TV show, I promise. You'd totally watch too, don't even lie.]

We always agreed that he'd be the star of the show, and I would be his much smarter and talented assistant that's constantly pissed off because she's just a fucking assistant even though she's much smarter and talented. [Hi. It's Redundant Day - it's where we say everything twice, or more than once.]

Then we came up with an even better idea. You all have seen or heard of MTV's "A Shot of Love with Tila Tequila", right? If you haven't, catch up:

So instead, it's gonna be "A Shot of Cum with Jasen Jager". The J's are silent.

The premise is this - there will be 16 girls, but all of them go on the show thinking he's straight - and all of them are set out to win over his heart. However, on the first night, Jasen's got a big secret to tell the girls - "I've... never... told anyone this, but... I'm... gay. And you girls are here to compete to be my ultimate fag hag." And the girls will yell and cry and will be all, "But I've totally already began to fall in love with him even though I've only known him for 7 hours!"

But Jasen's got another secret to tell them! - "I... have another secret to tell you. There's actually someone else. Someone that's been there for me through the thick and thin, and someone that will be VERY difficult to replace - my former fag hag, Tammy Tuaca!" And I come in Sister Patterson (you know, the mom from I Love New York) style - reading all the bitches to the floor and making them cry. All of them will try to suck up to me, but they actually want to rip my hair out, and all they talk about is how much they hate me in their confessionals. And of course, there's gonna be one bitch that's gonna try to act all grand and stand up for herself, only to realize that I will tear her a new one and she will be eliminated that night no matter how much Jasen liked her. And in the final episode, one of the girls will hawk a loogie the size of small rodent in the other one's hair.

See? Good shit, right? We're gonna tweak it a little and then send it off to MTV or VH1. It's bound to get picked up. Wish us luck.

Don't mind Jasen's leopard dress.

For Halloween this year, I didn't dress like a slutty ___________ and get drunk and manhandled on 6th Street. Instead, I watched the worst movie of my entire life.

I know that's a pretty serious statement, so I'll let that marinate in your mind for a while.




...




Yes, my friends. The. WORST. Movie. Of my entire life. Now, believe you me, I've seen some pretty terrible movies in my day, some being:

Battlefield Earth
Waterworld
The Adventures of Pluto Nash
The Master of Disguise
Epic Movie
Ultraviolet
Juwanna Mann
I Still Know What you Did Last Summer
Bring It On: All or Nothing
Leprechaun in Space
Leprechaun in the Hood
Crossroads

Shit, I'm embarrassed to even mention that I've seen those, but I would rather watch all of the movies listed above ten times each than see the cinematic turd also known as "Bug" again.

The only thing "disturbing" about this movie is that people actually went to see it in theaters.

It was an hour and a half of my life that I would have much rather spent gouging my eyes out with rusty spoons. It was one of those movies that you kept watching because the whole time you were thinking, "God, it's *got* to get better", but instead, it gets worse. And at the end, you're hoping that a scary girl with a bad weave will crawl out of your TV and put you out of your fucking misery. Or just punch your in the fucking mouth, because at least *that* would have been a hell of a lot more interesting than "Bug".

Ahh, good times on Halloween night. At least I got to share my agony with good company. And all is well.

Going to a gay bar at least twice a week, every week, for the past 3 months, I'm bound to meet some interesting people and see interesting things:

Beautiful trannies... check.
Not-so beautiful trannies... check.
Gay guys that I swear are straight... check.
Gay guys that hit on me (?)... check.
Guys I see on an almost-daily basis at the Domain... check.
Girls standing up to pee... check.
Guys blowing other guys in the bathroom... check.
The hottest men I've ever seen and yet I shall never have... check.
9 people cram into the handi-cap stall... check.
Someone slip and bust his ass in front of everyone like a damn fool... check.

And now,

A famous gay porn star... check.

I had no idea how "big" (haha - zing!) he was until I went home and Google Imaged his ass (haha - zing x 2!). And because my friend is talking to him right now, I totally had a shot with him and we took a classy picture in the bathroom.

Gosh, I love Rain.

I'm going home in a couple hours, and I can't fuckin' wait. If you're there, holla at your girl. [Haha, did I really just say that?]

Not that I condone drinking and driving by ANY means [and if you do it, shame on you], but I found this story kinda funny.


From the county where drunk driving is considered a sport, comes this true story. Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in Austin, Texas. After last call, the officer noticed a man leaving the bar apparently so intoxicated that he could barely walk.

The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed like an eternity in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it. He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off.

Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off--it was a fine, dry summer night--, flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patrons' vehicles left. At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out and drove slowly down the road.

The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and administered a breathalyzer test. To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man had consumed any alcohol at all!

Dumbfounded, the officer said, I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."

"I doubt it," said the truly proud Redneck. "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."


Ahh... only in Austin.

So last night, Jasen, Greg, Justin and I went to Little Woodrow's for the 2nd week in a row to play power hour.

Remind me again why we succumb ourselves to this type of agony and abuse? And whose fuckin' idea was it to play power hour on a Tuesday night, anyway? [Oh right, that would be me.]

As expected, I woke up this morning with a massive hangover and the memories from last night came over me with a humbling force. And I thought to myself, "Fuck me, I'm never drinking again."

But now that the pain has subsided, I'm ready for more. BRING IT ON, MILLER LITE.

Hello, my name is Tammy, and I am an alcoholic.

So, a bear walks into a bar and says, "I'd like a beer and..... a packet of peanuts". The barman says, "Why the big pause?"

Thank you, I'll be here all night.

Some things...

• Sleeping about 5 hours TOTAL this past weekend is probably not the best way to start off a new week. Nor is it good for my body. But. No regrets.

• According to Mike, at the rate I'm going with my partying, my liver is going to fall out of my butt soon. And I believe him.

• The best thing that Jessica Simpson gave me besides telling me that buffalo wings are made from buffalo, is my extensions. I'd put up pictures but I'm sure that all of you have either Facebook or MySpace.

• So when I go to Rain every Thursday and Saturday, I wonder if the people there think I'm actually a tranny. I mean, I've got the big heels, the fake lashes, the fake hair, the fake boobs (ha, just kidding). It probably doesn't help that I tell them I get really good work done in Thailand.
  

• Just FYI, if you walk by me or Jasen and hear "Her", it's not a good thing.

And... I'm spent.

This is quite possibly the funniest video I've seen in a long time:

Justin Timberlake, I'd take your dick-in-a-box ANY day. Call me.

[On a side note, they won an Emmy for this shit. Fuckin' awesome.]

After a month of unemployment... I've been itching to go back to work. It's not really so much the "Man, I love being at work, on my feet, and helping people all day long!", as much as the whole "Fuck, I'm broke as a joke, and I can't even afford to eat at Mickey D's anymore." So... after a couple weeks of looking, applying, interviewing, and then interviewing some more... I've landed a new job for myself:

Today was my first day actually, and... so far so good. The few people I've worked with are unbelievably nice and helpful, the customers aren't that needy (yet), and it wasn't nearly as slow as I thought it was going to be. So. No complaints here. Besides, after dealing with 5 months of drama and incessant bullshit over at the Crew, working at Juicy is a nice break, and a much needed breath of fresh air.

But who knows, it's only been my first day. Ask me again in a couple of months. However, I'm choosing to stay optimistic.

And on the plus side, I can finally get that $0.99 double cheeseburger I've been eyeing for the last week.

Hi guys, I don't really know how to say this... But... I have a confession to make. This is way harder than I thought it was gonna be... But, the truth is going to have to come out sooner or later. So. Here goes:

I love Britney Spears.

I loved her when she first came out in her little innocent school girl uniform, I love the horrible lip synced concerts, I love her despite her horrible choices in men after Justin, hell, I even love her crazy, head shaved, fat phase, rehab, umbrella-hitting, questionable parenting, making out with strangers in hot tubs, and the overall downward-spiral that she's currently in. I don't even care if she makes a comeback anymore - I will love her nonetheless.

I know. It's terrible. I truly hate myself for even admitting this.

I need a Britney-intervention.

But only after you hear her new single: [Here]. It's hottt. It's Britney... bitch.

Haha. God, someone help me.

[Edit: Yes, I've seen her VMA performance. Yes, she was one big mess. But fuck, it's BRITNEY SPEARS. She can do whatever the fuck she wants - including showing up 3 hours late to her rehearsal with a margarita in her hand, doing a terrible job at lip syncing, stumbling while she tries to dance, and just looking horribly bored throughout her entire performance. I think it's fabulous.]

Honey, who saw Pumpkin and Leilene from the Flavor of Love at the bar last night?

I wanted to take a picture of them, but I was scared that Pumpkin might hawk a loogie the size of my fist into my hair. Watch out everybody, you might get spit on!

[In case you don't remember:]

Best compliment, ever:

"Girl, you look just like Kimora Lee Simmons. Fabulous. But without the weird lumpy neck."

I actually had two people call me Kimora last night. It's because I'm Asian, isn't it? Anyway. Rain is fun. I've missed it.

[Scene]

Jasen and Tammy are riding in the car of the way back from San Marcos. A school bus is in front of them. There is a guy visible in the back window of the bus.

Jasen: OOhh giirrrl, that guy looks kinda cute. I'm gonna pull up closer.

[Pause]

Jasen: AW HELL, it's a short bus. Honey, no.

Tammy: You just hit on a retarded kid.

[End Scene]




I'll save you a seat on the way to hell, J.

When I get a job, the first things I'm gonna get with my first paycheck are:

1. A Mani-Pedi
2. My hair did by Greg
3. A Bangkok hooker

Sorry for the lack of posts this past month. With The Mike in town... and then packing and moving from the apartment to my brother's house, and then my friend Sue in town... then me catching the flu... then our trip to Lake Conroe... and then Mike's mom in town... I found it kind of hard to update. But! I'll give you a quick rundown of all that's happened in the last few weeks:


* I got to spend much needed time with my Mikeys. [Jimmytown - I love you more than words can describe. Thank you for everything.]
* I'm so glad I am finally out of my old apartment [aka: Satan's Asshole] and into my new room in my brother's house. I know I'm way the fuck up North, but if you're ever in my area, drop by! There's a Little Woodrow's within walking distance from me. [Uhm... Hello, Power Hour again.]
* How I was able to cram all my shit into a closet that was 1/3 the size of my old one is beyond me. Damn, I'm good.
* Sue, a girl I've gone to Chinese school with since I was like, 10 years old, came to visit me! In a span of 5 days, she was able to:
1. Get throwed off 3 drinks, proceed to puke all over herself, myself, and Phuong's self within 30 seconds of getting into a cab.
2. Play about 47 hours of Donkey Kong and Diddy's Kong Quest.
3. Go out Wednesday, Thursday, and Saturday. Like a true Austinite.
4. Sleep in the same bed with me and Mike. Hehe. Gross.
* Man, Influenza SUCKS. I hadn't been this sick since God knows when. The fever, the chills, the aches, the nausea, the coughing, the oh-my-God-when-the-fuck-will-this-be-over... I'm just glad that it's gone.
* Lake Conroe was a lot of fun - got to hang out with the Old SB Crew + Mike and Danny but - Kim. It was definitely a relaxing trip... Well, for me anyway, since I was unable to drink due to my sickness. It was still fun watching everyone [Read: Terrence] get drunk every night.
* We convinced Mike's momma to come visit Austin. It's always a little nerve-wracking to have the BF's mom come visit you, but she's freaking awesome and I love her. We took her to see the bats, ate some Rudys, went to 219 for happy hour, went shopping at Whole Foods, had Mexican Martini's at Trudys, went to 6th Street for some live music, and ate yummy family style food at DinHo and shaved ice at Coco's. Good times.
* Job hunting sucks. Sometimes I wished I had never quit J. Crew because I pretty much had it made there, and then I remembered that I never really enjoyed stabbing my face repeatedly with a dull pencil, which was what I wanted to do everyday I was there. But so far, I've submitted applications to Free People, Coach, Luxe Apothetique, Lucky Jeans, Michael Kors, Juicy Couture, Origins, and Ralph Lauren [yeah I know, I'm a retail snob]. So far, I've interview with Luxe, Origins, and Juicy... so wish me luck!
* So... how was YOUR summer?
* P.S. Pictures are all up on Facebook, so feel free to gander!

Man, packing is a motherfuck. I can't wait until tomorrow is over, when I get all my stuff out of this shithole apartment.

As of August 1st, I will be living with my Brother and Co. in North Austin (like... waaaay north... 183 and McNeil to be exact). After 4 years of living on or around campus, this might be a nice change of pace from the hectic lifestyle I've been living. No more drunken strangers trying to walk into our apartment, no more annoying neighbors who plays their bass so loud it vibrates my asshole, no more people playing guitar and singing bad 80's metal band songs right next to my window at 4 in the morning. But at the same time, I will miss being 2 seconds away from everyone and everything, I'll miss living right next to Crown & Anchor (no more power hours. Boo), but more than anything, I'll miss my other half - Phuong, who's been the best roommate/girlfriend/cuddle buddy, anyone could ever ask for. Gay.

Anyway, I only say all this cause you might not see much of me anymore after I move since I'll be so far away.

Oh who am I kidding, I'll be down here all the time. Keep that couch open for me!

On my last day of work (which is this coming Friday!), I would just love to be a complete and utter bitch to any customer who even LOOKS at me wrong. In fact, I'd like to take from the fabulous Cheri Oteri and tell any clientèle to SIMMA DOWN NAH.

[Scene]

Customer: Ma'am, I need help and no one has assisted me since I've walked in.
Me: Okay everyone SIMMA DOWN NAH. What is the problem nah?
Customer: Uhmmmm... there is no size six anywhere in this stack, why are there no sixes?
Me: Alright, whatchu NEED is a size six...TEEN, so SIMMA DOWN NAH.
Customer: Excuse me?
Me: I said... SIMMA DOWN NAH.
Customer: Uhh, I think you shou...
Me: And I think you betta SIMMA DOWN NAH!
Customer: WHAT?! I...
Me: What part of "simma down nah" do ya not understan'? The "simma", the "down", or the "nah"?!
Customer: I didn't even...
Me: "Simma" plus "Down" plus "Nah" equals... SIMMA DOWN NAH, so SIMMA DOWN NAH.
Customer: Stop telling me to simmer down now!
Me: Ma'am, what happens when you cook greens on low heat?
Customer: ...You... simmer... them?
Me: Opposite of up?
Customer: Uh, down?
Me: Not later but...?
Customer: Now?
Me: SIMMA DOWN NAH! SIMMA DOWN NAH!
Customer: I really don't need this kind of treatment!
Me: What you NEED is a triple by-pass, so SIMMA DOWN NAH.
Customer: The hell? What is the number to your corporate office? I would like to contact them.
Me: I do understand your concern, ma'am. And on behalf of J. Crew, I'd like to invite you to... SIMMA DOWN NAH.

[End scene]

Man, that'd be the best last day, EVER.

Dear Tierra Property Management,


Fuck you.


First, the disgusting apartment that you failed to clean before we moved in.


Second, the peeping Toms you failed to keep away.


Third, the AC drained that leaked and flooded our apartment.


And now, YOU TOW MY CAR OUT OF MY PARKING SPACE, despite the parking sticker slapped right in the corner of my windshield.


Fuck you. And your mother.



Sincerely,
Tammy

Last night, while my other half and I were at Bourbon Rocks, the live band played "My Girl" by the Temptations. It was then and there that Phuong and I decided to get married and spend the rest of our lives together. We ended up proposing to each other on the spot, right in the middle of the dance floor, and then spent the rest of the night at our own individual bachelorette parties (cause we kept getting separated! Boo!!!).

And the pics:

We're in love!|I do, I do, I DOOooo-oooo.


Our engagement rings. Sorry yours isn't bigger, Phuong... BUT IT'S SET IN PLATINUM!

Some other pictures from this weekend [the rest can be found on Facebook.]



Me, Phuong, Kim the birthday girl, and Junifer|Us with our alums - Jun, Heather, and Angela|The birthday girl passed out at Maggie Maes|I loves ML.

Happy birthday, Daddy!



Not a day goes by that I don't wish you were still here...

When my family switched cell-phone providers from Sprint to AT&T, we added the unlimited family text messaging package, because my mom knew that we liked to text a lot and she didn't want to pay any over-charges. So I taught my mom how to text message so she can do it whenever she could. And since then, she's been texting me almost EVERY SINGLE DAY. It's like I've created a monster. But anyway, here are some good ones that she sent to me, verbatim:


Jun 19, 2007 2:12:17PM
You need to watch video for steer clear discount for your insurance i picked up already so you watch tonight. [She didn't know how to use the punctuation yet.]

Jun 20, 2007 5:02:32PM
Have a good work out in the pool not just for tan :-) [Haha, but she knew how to do an emoticon.]

Jun 23, 2007 7:36:03PM
Sorry not take you to airport who will pick you up in austin have a safe trip back god be with you call me when you arrive austin [This sentence is awesome on so many levels, I can't even begin to tell you.]

Jun 27, 2007 6:35:45PM
I am watching tv right now, FLOOD IN AUSTIN!!! Is it bad? [Haha, no mom, it's not even raining here yet...]

And a personal favorite:

Jun 16, 2007 2:23:24PM
Hi, how are you? How is you acne on your forehead? Any better? Love you.


Man, my mom is the best.

I turned in my two-weeks today.

After 2+ years at my beloved J. Crew, I've decided to pull the plug and call it quits. There's been so much drama within our store that not only has it been physically draining to work there, but mentally and emotionally as well. It just sucks that after all the blood, sweat, and tears (literally) I've put into the store, that this is how it has to end. I've definitely had a good run, and I'm really sad to be leaving... but hey, all good things must come to an end, right?

Hopefully, my next job won't require me to work 26 hour shifts or work until 5 in the morning. Know of any place? Let me know.

Yesterday marked the 7th consecutive night I've gone out and drank this week. Jeezy Creezy, at this point, my liver is gonna fall out of my butt by the time I'm 28.

Saturday:

Went out to 4th with Vivian, Phuong, Albert, and Steve. Got hammered and went to Albert and Steve's place, where Phuong and I acted like little kids and Steve had to take care of us.

Me, Foo-dong, and the tiara I found.|Zetas minus Julie. Wish you were there!

Sunday:

Met up with Jasen at Rain for the Drag Show. Got crunk and saw a bunch of fabulous drag queens.


Monday:

The most chill night of the week - Phuong and I met up with Monica, Jenny, and Brad at our beloved Crown & Anchor for $1.50 pint night.

Tuesday:

Jasen calls me around 10 and asks, "Wanna go out? I don't want to stay long, but just hang out for a while and drink some martinis." If by "hang out", you mean "get drunk", then count me in! Saw Ryan and Matt at... some other bar, then went home, where Phuong and I proceeded to feed the Davis brothers rice with LOTS of cayenne pepper and soy sauce. Yum!


Jasen and I at Rain.|The beautiful Shawn and Tim (what a stud!)

Wednesday:

July 4th! Went to Albert and Steve's place for a delicious BBQ, then went downtown, got tanked, didn't remember how I got home (or... not home, as it was Albert and Steve's place). Yesss. Pictures in the last post.

Thursday:

Thirsty Thursday! Kim, Phuong, and I headed downtown with no other than Albert and Steve. Started on 4th, then ended up at Latitude on 5th were we saw old faces.


Phuong and I doing the "Terence". Haha.|Me, J, Tim (the birthday boy), Shawn, and Kim.

Friday:

Phuong and Kim came with me to my brother's for Evelyn's last night here in the states. There, we did the whole "I'll drink if Kim drinks," "Well, Kim will drink if Phuong drinks". So we all ended up playing drinking games with Winnie and her friends. I really wish I had my camera that night cause I would have caught some great memories (like Kim singing the Oscar Meyer weiner song). I passed out early cause I was so tired, but it was still fun.

Saturday:

I went out with Nikki, and Kayla (again). We took a cab to 4th and got fuckin' throwed at Rain. Damn Jasen and his cheap shots! I had a shitty night, but at least I was in good company. :)


The Asians.|The gays.



It's no wonder that I've been sick for this past week and haven't gotten any better. Man, I love summer.

I feel like I've lost something. Please help me find it.

I hate feeling this lost and confused. :(

Happy IndepenDANCE Day!

Shooting fireworks is not only fun, but illegal too!|Red, white, and blue.


Trisha, Kayla, Nikki, and... Stevette. Hah!|Damn! That's a lucky tree.

So. how was your 4th?

There was a time and place when I actually worked hard at J.Crew. That time left along with our former store manager, Heidi. Now, no one gives a fuck about anything at our store. And I love it.

Case in point:

Sleeping in the rolling racks is comfy.

Spending 30 minutes in the morning looking for your car keys is not a good way to start off the day. How do you even lose keys from the time you open the door to your apartment, to when you go into your room?

Oh that's right... you leave them in your roommate's room. I'm a fucking moron.

Thankfully, I opened with Jasen so we actually "opened at 8:30" when in reality, we didn't get there until 9:20. Awesome.

First thing this morning, I had to deal with some little shit who got her little disgusting hands in one of our displays that was filled with pebbles. She managed to spill the pebbles all over our entry, and then proceeded to TAKE SOME WITH HER AND DROPPED THEM ALL OVER THE REST OF THE STORE. I was literally on my hands and knees picking up after her, when her mom noticed, laughed because she thought it was cute, and then left the store without helping me.

UHM, BITCH (and the other moms that shop at our store), YOU NEED TO WATCH YOUR GODDAMN CHILDREN. J.Crew is not a playground, and we are not your babysitters. Please keep your kids with you at all times, and don't let them wander around like stupid fucking dogs without leashes. Keep them out of our windows and keep them away from our displays.

Then, our gross, pervy, and probably-a-pedophile window cleaner, so aptly named "Gilbert", put his arms around me and asked me how I was doing. NO, SIR. Don't touch me - especially when I don't even fucking know you. I wouldn't let you touch me even after 7 mixed drinks, 4 shots, and a couple of beers, and I sure as hell am not gonna let you touch me first thing in the (already disastrous) morning. Go away.

But the one thing that made everything okay was the AC guy that came to fix the air conditioning in our store. GOD, he was fine. Staring at him go up and down a ladder made me forget all about stupid moms, and annoying children, and ugly window cleaners. That really just made my day.

No, scratch that. My Week.


[Hey, I work in a women's-only store. Any type of male interaction (especially with one that's even semi-cute) is revered.]