For Halloween this year, I didn't dress like a slutty ___________ and get drunk and manhandled on 6th Street. Instead, I watched the worst movie of my entire life.

I know that's a pretty serious statement, so I'll let that marinate in your mind for a while.




...




Yes, my friends. The. WORST. Movie. Of my entire life. Now, believe you me, I've seen some pretty terrible movies in my day, some being:

Battlefield Earth
Waterworld
The Adventures of Pluto Nash
The Master of Disguise
Epic Movie
Ultraviolet
Juwanna Mann
I Still Know What you Did Last Summer
Bring It On: All or Nothing
Leprechaun in Space
Leprechaun in the Hood
Crossroads

Shit, I'm embarrassed to even mention that I've seen those, but I would rather watch all of the movies listed above ten times each than see the cinematic turd also known as "Bug" again.

The only thing "disturbing" about this movie is that people actually went to see it in theaters.

It was an hour and a half of my life that I would have much rather spent gouging my eyes out with rusty spoons. It was one of those movies that you kept watching because the whole time you were thinking, "God, it's *got* to get better", but instead, it gets worse. And at the end, you're hoping that a scary girl with a bad weave will crawl out of your TV and put you out of your fucking misery. Or just punch your in the fucking mouth, because at least *that* would have been a hell of a lot more interesting than "Bug".

Ahh, good times on Halloween night. At least I got to share my agony with good company. And all is well.