Conversation about 5 completely different things within 2 minutes that I had with a friend tonight...

"I... I just don't understand how c-o-l-o-n-e-l is pronounced "kernel". How the hell does "kernel" come from Colon-el? What is wrong with the English language? Who's idea was it to pronounce "Colon-el" as "Kernel"? I hate white people."
"But Tammy. You're as white as we are."
"Hey. Don't make me bust out my mad karate moves on you."
"You don't know Karate."
"Sure I do. Haven't you heard the stereotype? Every Asian knows some form of martial arts."
"No. But I've heard the one that all of you guys have either played the piano or violin and are total math geeks."
"That's not a stereotype. That's a fact. But it still doesn't explain the whole colonel ordeal."
"Go to bed before you hurt yourself."
"Oh I'll probably hurt myself from jumping off our balcony while sleepwalking."