From AP Government today:

Politics Made Simple


Capitalism (Theory)
You sell one cow and buy a bull.


Capitalism (Reality)
You have no cows.
The bank won't lend you money to buy cows because you don't have any cows to put up as collateral.


Feudalism
You have two cows.
Your lord takes some milk.


Pure Democracy
You have two cows.
Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.


Representative Democracy
You have two cows.
Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.


Environmentalism
Free the cows.
Shoot the government.
Drink soy milk.


Communism
You have two cows.
Give both to the government.
The government gives you milk.


Socialism
You have two cows.
Give one to your neighbor.


Surrealism
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.


New Dealism
The government shoots one cow.
Milks the other.
Pour the milk down the sink.


Anarchism
Keep the cows.
Steal another one.
Shoot the government.


Liberalism
Give away one cow.
Get the government to give you a new cow.
Now, give them both away.


Facism
You have two cows.
Give milk to the government.
The government sells it.


Nazism
The government shoots you and takes the cows.


Conservatism
Freeze the milk.
Embalsm the cows.


Totalitarianism
You have two cows.
The government takes both and drafts you.


Ahh. Politics. It's a beautiful thing.