An observation from the Olympics open ceremony tonight: My mom and I were watching all of the different countries do their little parade strut. Lots of countries whee fun go faster. And then China comes out and my mom and I were like, "Yay!", and you know what happens? They cut to a goddamn commercial! DAMN YOU AMERICANS! (Hi. I'm gonna get myself shot.) No, but I liked when the U.S. came out because they had lots of people. Really.

"At least Taiwan didn't get cut off..." -Me
"Well, that's because there's only 4 people." -Mom