Fun with Heather:

She: So I think I'm gonna put "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger" in my essay.
Me: That's a good quote. You believe it?
She: To a certain extent... I believe more in the "What doesn't kill you... almost kills you" philosophy.
Me: Yeah, what doesn't kill you, makes you scared shitless for the rest of your life.

Me: Look. I made a paper origami swan.
She: I'll paper origami swan you.
Me: Oh yeah? Well it says you're a stupid ho.
She: I'm gonna stupid ho you.
Me: What? That doesn't even make sense.
She: I'll make sense you
Me: You suck.
She: I'm gonna suc--- Wait. Nevermind.
**2 minutes later, she is dancing in the middle of the classroom**
Me: Heather, please.
She: I'm gonna pleas--- Shit. I hate you.
Me: I'm gonna hate.... you

Me: Stop acting dumb.
She: No, you stop acting dumb.
Me: Your face is dumb.
She: Your mom.
Me: ... Damnit. You always win.

We are perfectly mature young ladies. Really.