I just remembered that I was propositioned for sex last night. He asked me how much I made in a week, and he told me he'd double it if I went back to his hotel room.

What is it about me that just screams, "hooker"?





Nevermind, don't answer that.

Don't ever, under any circumstances, buy Orbit's Fabulous Fruitini gum.

It's neither Fabulous, nor Fruity.

In fact, it totally smells like throw-up... AKA last Saturday night.

Phrases I hoped never to hear come out of my boss's mouth, (but did anyway, in a span of one week):

"How can you service your customers in the fitting room?"

"Can a manager touch your stuff?"

"I'm coming!"

"It's so creamy!!!"