I just spent almost four hours messing around with my room. I finally hung up some of the paintings that I have done... I meant to do that awhile ago but I guess I just never got around to it. I still don't know if this is what I want to end up doing... I don't think I'd be good enough to anyway. I'm considering taking photography next year and see how that goes. I think I will like it... These are the times when I wish I could go back to my old school... They have an amazing art program... and just a couple of years ago, they built a new 2 million dollar art department. They had *everything* you could ever want or need. Yeah. And what does the school I'm at now have? Broken crayons, dried up clumpy acrilic paints, colored pencils in the ever-so-popular shades of poop brown, barf green, and orange. They ran out of pencils and erasers already. It's kinda sad... but I mean, I can't really except too much out of a public school anyway. And I think the fact that paying over 10 grand in tuition money each year would get you some pretty decent art supplies. I still kinda wish I had a better teacher though. Cool lady... but lazy as hell. I don't feel like I've been improving at all since I've come to the school I'm at now. I think her laziness rubs off on her students... I usually end up sleeping in her class. Maybe I will switch out next semester... Hrm... Decisions decisions.

Woo! I just had Pokemon macaroni and cheese! They had noodles in the shape of Pikachu and I was all "I am going to eat you, Pikachu, you pestering little devil." *Chomp* Then I realized that it tasted like shit. Eww. It was not that appetizing at all... I should have known that powdered cheese wouldn't be too tasty to begin with. Not ever eating that again.

I went to see Shakespeare in the Park last night... They were performing A Midsummer Night's Dream. I like the book... and the play... well, was... interesting. I think someone that was tripping on acid would find it incredibly frightening. But I wouldn't know since I've never tripped acid or anything... then again, the play frightened me and I wasn't high. So I don't know. Um... It wasn't bad though. I kinda liked it. It was all colorful and stuff...
*Yawn* Me sleepy. I wish school wouldn't start so damn early. They should have it from 10-2. Four hours is more than enough for me to learn about stuff that I'll probably never use in 5 years.
Blah~ I don't think I'm in the mood to talk to myself right now... So until next time... Take care of myself.

"What kind of word is 'methinks'? It's such a stupid word... Who would even come up with something like that? 'Methinks'? Ugh! It's so dumb!"
"Methinks you need to shut the hell up."

Yeah, so I just got back from the airport about an hour ago. Siv left to go back to Cali. And I don't know... my room seems empty. I'm really sad right now. Since Siv was around for the past 10 days, she kept my mind off of things. I didn't really have time to sulk and freak out over stuff like I tend to do. Now I'll have all the time in the world for sulking and freaking out.
Freaking out over what? Well let's see. A girl that I've been really close friends with has left to go to college. I didn't even really get to say bye to her before she left... And the fact that I won't be seeing her every Sunday like I have for so many years... is gonna be really weird. Sivan just left and I probably won't see her till next year. And even though I talk to her on the phone almost every night, it's definitely not the same as just lying together in bed and talking about everything and anything until the wee hours of the morning. School has started. It hasn't even been a full week yet and I'm already stressed out. I worked on AP US History ID notecards for almost 10 hours on Tuesday. TEN hours. And I have a lot of other homework including a lot from Chinese school. Yes. My mom is *still* making me go to that... and I think I've been goin' there for about 7 years now. I've been telling people that one of the things I'm looking forward to most about college is the fact that I'll never have to go back to that wretched place again. I despise Chinese school.
Oh, did I mentioned that Boy is gone as well? Yeah. Him too. I thought that I would be okay and you know... deal with it. And while I am dealing with it, it still sucks. See my previous posts from Taiwan? About how much I complained about missing boy? Okay. I was there for two months. And now this will be a whole bunch of two months for the next four years. And I don't know if we will even last until next summer, let alone four years... I really hope we do. That is one of the things I wish for more than anything else in the world right now. (That and I hope Siv's plane doesn't break.) I don't know. I think I'm just scared of losing someone that means so much to me. And I know that I will never feel the same way towards anyone else the way I feel towards boy. And... I don't want the whole... college thing... to change... us. There's so much more I want to say, but I don't know how to put it into words. Perhaps I'm getting a little too mushy. I think I just need to get some sleep. Which is something that I have definitely been deprived of in the past 10 days.
Until next time, try some Alicia Keys.

"Don't waste your bubbles on a bubble hater!" ~Emily

OH MY GOD. Guess who is here? Like... here here. Right next to me here. My best friend. The one that lives in California. Yeah. She's here. She's came to suprise me. I hate suprises. But this was a good suprise =)

"...Sammy was in the pediatric intensive care unit. He was in an irreversible coma, hooked up to a respirator, with tubes coming out of his nose and mouth. He had permanent brain damage but he was not brain dead. He had been that way for nine months, since August 2, when he choked on a piece of a yellow birthday balloon which burst as it was being blown up. The balloon fragment got stuck in Sammy's windpipe, cutting off the oxygen supply to his brain..."

So I am offically afraid of ballons now. Especially the yellow birthday ones that burst when being blown up and then get fragments of it stuck in your windpipe, cutting off the oxygen supply to your brain. Yeah. Those suck.

I'm supposed to be doing my summer reading reports right now. But I've done that for the past 3 or so hours. I thought I deserved a break... So I was just sorta flipping through this gynormous binder full of old e-mails (from 1998... I used to print out all the good ones...) and I came across this one very informational e-mail that tells me exactly how to be a "cool" asian. Supposedly, you have to...

1.) Be racist
2.) Dye your hair... reddish brown for best results (but then again, blonde turns out to be reddish-brown anyway)
3.) You must drive an Acura Integra or Honda Civic.
4.) Never wear glasses out of class... only FOBs can do so (colored contacs are required)
5.) Be racist
6.) Girls, wear dark lipstick (the browner the cooler... no matter if you end up looking like you stuffed your face in chocolate)
7.) To achieve the "natural" look, apply layers and layers of makeup on... if it starts to look unnatural (heaven forbid), just apply another layer
8.) Curl your eyelashes until they touch your eyelids
9.) Never be caught dead in a group of less than 10
10.) Be racist
11.) Only associate with fellow yellows
12.) When you want to speak about a non-Asian in front of their face, speak your own language very loudly and rudely
13.) Interpret every little thing as a racial issue
14.) Never be on time when meeting friends
15.) Be racist
16.) Dogg on inter-racial couples
17.) A pager is a life necessity (or a cell phone, or both)
18.) Only wear clothes in the exciting shades of black and white (occasionaly cream, brown, or gray are allowed)
19.) Girls must stare at each other more than guys stare at them
20.) Be racist
21.) Always dress like you're going to a party, even when you're only going to Walmart
22.) Hang out in coffee shops when there's nothing to do
23.) Girls must be masters of DDR
24.) Guys must be masters of DDR
25.) Be racist
26.) Make every event a social one... church, school, funerals... etc.
27.) Guys are not allowed to leave the mall without at least one set of digits
28.) Girls - Dress skimpy on a cold day so that a guy has to lend you his coat
29.) Guys must wear their choice of : Eternity, Escape, Tommy, or A&F colonge
30.) Be racist
31.) Carry at least 1,000 pictures around with you wherever you go... pictures of only Asians of course. Sticker pictures are even better...
32.) Take pictures everywhere you go... Guys - always look ruff and all hard-core, lifting your chin up to the lens. Girls - fake smile with the peace symbol, or no smile and no peace symbol
33.) Fit 9 people in a car, when the limit is 5
34.) Be racist
35.) Wear a jade necklace, even if you're not into Buddah
36.) There must be a stringy, Oriental-looking ornament dangling from the mirror of your souped-up car
37.) Girls - Be abnormally obsessed with Sanrio
38.) Be racist


Um... I am the un-coolest Asian. Ever. And has it occured to you that those instructions told me to be racist at least 5 times? Dude, fuck that. If that's what it takes to be cool. I want to be the biggest loser. Oh wait. I already am =)

So... I thought that I should go get my licence today. Oh wait, I need to get my permit first, don't I? Yes. I'm 16 and still licenceless. Permitless too! Shut up, I don't want to hear it. I'm not lazy, I'm just afraid of driving... Wait... No, I'm just lazy. So yeah. I should go and get it. Then again, by the time that I actually do get it, and then wait 6 months, and then when I finally get my licence, I'll be 18 anyway. So might as well wait till I turn 18. Besides. Why drive when all your friends can? Sure does save me some gas money. ^_~ God I'm such a bum. Love me?

I am getting *really* into hip hop these past few days. Try these: Black Eyed Peas, Jurassic 5, and The Roots. Good stuff. Great for bobbing.

Okay... So I was watching Ripley's Believe It or Not tonight and they showed an old lady who walked around with a knife sticking out of her neck without anyone knowing it. Apparently, on her walk to the buy groceries, she was attacked by this dude who supposedly "vanished", and was stabbed in the back of her neck, almost at her shoulder. "Only having mild pains", she keeps walking merrily along. And no one notices. So she gets to the supermarket, gets what she wants, pays, and leaves and goes home. Hello?? No one sees a big knife handle sticking out of an old ladys neck!!! Are they blind? Not even the person who checked her out saw. Um. How hard is it to realize that "Hey, I don't think that's supposed to be sticking out from there. That could be bad." The only evidence that this is true is that the security camera at the supermarket has a tape of the old lady walking around. Oh and what beats me is how the old lady didn't know that there was a 2 inch blade stuck inside her body that was half an inch from hitting her spine... Supposedly, there was no blood either. Yeah okay. Ripley? That lady is scary.

Hey! I'm Vine Man!!!

So this is kinda like the 2nd part to my deliciously long post down there... I was just re-reading what I had written and it made me think of the movie, Sliding Doors. For those of you who hadn't seen it yet, go rent it and watch it, its good. And don't read this (not like you do in the first place) because I am about to ruin it for you. So it's a story about how a matter of seconds can completely change your life. It shows what would happen if main character, Gwenth Paltrow, catches the train, and what would happen if she didn't. So (very condensed summary...) by catching the train, she meets a dude on the way, finds her husband cheating on her, dumps him, hooks up with subway dude, love, sparks, whatever. She ends up getting hit by a car and dies. And by not catching the train, she eventually finds out her husband is cheating on her anyway, blah blah, she falls down the stairs, ends up in the hospital, dumps the husband, and ends up meeting subway dude on her way out of the hospital. So the point of this post? I don't remember. Maybe how tiny little things can change things so drastically. But then again, if life is anything like the movie (you know, since life is *so* much like the movies and all...), anything that happens will merge together in the end anyway. So the moral of this post? Never expect a Spanish inquisition. (*Sigh* Go watch the movie if you don't know what I'm talking about... or Monty Python.)

So um... Summer reading blows? Hey, okay, a book on the Bill of Rights in action? Yeah, that will be fun, lettme tell ya. But that's okay, this will be my last book. Thank God... Hey English department at HHS: Why don't you pick some good books next time, huh? Yah. That'd be nice. Actually, I'm just all whiney because this book really sucks and I want it to be over. The other ones aren't really that bad.
I have to go to the dentist tomorrow. I absolutely despise going to the dentist. I'd rather have a brain transplant than going to get my teeth cleaned. It's pathetic, I know... But I still hate it. I'll be expecting them to give me some happy gas or to knock me out with a slegehammer. I'm not looking forward to having someone probe and jab at my teeth and gums, making them bleed for an hour and then telling me that I need to floss and then send me on my way with yet another crapassed toothbrush, as if I don't have one or 5 at home. Dude! It'd be nice if I was like my grandmother and just.. like, don't have teeth. Have fake ones that you take out at night. Then again, I think I'll look funny toothless. Maybe I'll just wait till I get old. Wah. I don't want to be old. Wah. I'm going to bed.

"2 Eights."
"Um... add one."
"Whatever... BS! *Flips card* "Hah! That's a queen, stoopie."
"Um... Tammy, that's a jack... stoopie."
"Damn."

Um. Where'd all my archives go? Hrm. Oh well. Oh and I apologize for my painfully long blibber blabber down there. But anyway... This right here, made me laugh. Wanna learn how to be a pimp? Bert will tell ya... Oh. And this. Bad humor is the best humor. Don't click on the 2nd one if you get offended very easily. Anyway. Farewell my concubine! (Wait... no... that't not right. Whatever. It was a good movie.)

Why does AOL have to be a butt monkey? (Yes. Butt monkey.) I just got kicked off 4 times in the last 7 minutes. That always happens. Plus, I get crap mail from the "staff at AOL" and from ediets.com all the fuckin time (No. I don't want to go on an e-diet. I already have enough problems and issues with my body as it is, I don't need some online person point out all the flaws and make me hate it even more.), and random people IM me telling me to go "click on their site to see hot naked girls get boned by live animals!" (I don't think that's AOL's fault, but I like to blame them anyway.) It would be cheaper for me to just get a DSL modem than this dumbass AOL account and a second phone line. And I could download stuff a hell lot faster than this turtle piece of junk. Yet, I keep coming back and signing and re-signing on time after time. Damn AOL and their irresistibly colorful icons. Computers are the devil.
Anyway. So two nights ago, I went to my mom to ask for some soap, and I found her crying. That... is something you don't see very often. Except when we watch those corny chick flicks... but that’s beside the point. We weren't watching any chick flicks. She was crying because one of my really good friend's mom (who's really good friends with my mom) is moving back to Hong Kong in a few weeks. My mom was saying how much she meant to her... and how she was like a mentor, an older sister to her. She was just... sad. And I don't know, seeing my mom like that really touches me as well. And then it got me to thinking about the people who are leaving to go to college in less than 2 weeks. One of them I have know for a very long time... and we started to become really close these few years. (She's the daughter of the friend that my mom was crying over..) And this girl, has been sorta like an older sister to me as well. She probably doesn’t know this, but she has taught me so much, and in a way, I kinda look up to her. And knowing that I won't be seeing her every Sunday like I have for oh... the last 5 or so years... really... makes me upset. Oh and along with her, the boy is leaving as well. And maybe all of this hasn't exactly hit me yet, but I know that I will be crushed when he leaves. He, like Sharon, has taught me a lot as well. He so... intelligent. And everything he says just makes... sense. I don't know. I do this thing where I get emotionally (sometimes physically) attached to people... which isn't exactly a good thing cause these people tend to move away and just sorta leave me here. (*Ahem* Megan, Ching, Tsin sue, SIVAN, Sharon, David...) And I'm not too good when it comes to change either. I don't like it, I try to avoid it, but yet it still has that sneaky way of coming back to me. Well... maybe not so sneaky...
But anyway. So yeah. Important people in my life are either not here or are leaving. Well, Esther will still be here... but she's gonna be off doin' her college thing as well. And sure, my friends will come back and visit. But college changes people. They will be in a completely different environment, with new people and new... things. They won't have time or have little time to think of that little junior girl back here. I always say that I should just befriend people my own age. Or I wonder what would happen if I made different choices. Like... what if I didn't decide to be nice and help out the new girl with her schedule back in 6th grade? Would Siv and I be best friends like we are now? Or... what if I decided that I should stay home to help my mom with moving last summer instead of going to camp? I know that Boy and I would not be dating now. And if I hadn't met these people... I would probably be someone completely different. And I like how things turned out they way they are... (Well... I'm not too thrilled about the fact that Sharon and Boy are leaving, and that Siv is on the other side of the country...) But overall, I'm happy. So maybe change isn't that all that bad...
Then again, change just sucks.