Why does AOL have to be a butt monkey? (Yes. Butt monkey.) I just got kicked off 4 times in the last 7 minutes. That always happens. Plus, I get crap mail from the "staff at AOL" and from ediets.com all the fuckin time (No. I don't want to go on an e-diet. I already have enough problems and issues with my body as it is, I don't need some online person point out all the flaws and make me hate it even more.), and random people IM me telling me to go "click on their site to see hot naked girls get boned by live animals!" (I don't think that's AOL's fault, but I like to blame them anyway.) It would be cheaper for me to just get a DSL modem than this dumbass AOL account and a second phone line. And I could download stuff a hell lot faster than this turtle piece of junk. Yet, I keep coming back and signing and re-signing on time after time. Damn AOL and their irresistibly colorful icons. Computers are the devil.
Anyway. So two nights ago, I went to my mom to ask for some soap, and I found her crying. That... is something you don't see very often. Except when we watch those corny chick flicks... but that’s beside the point. We weren't watching any chick flicks. She was crying because one of my really good friend's mom (who's really good friends with my mom) is moving back to Hong Kong in a few weeks. My mom was saying how much she meant to her... and how she was like a mentor, an older sister to her. She was just... sad. And I don't know, seeing my mom like that really touches me as well. And then it got me to thinking about the people who are leaving to go to college in less than 2 weeks. One of them I have know for a very long time... and we started to become really close these few years. (She's the daughter of the friend that my mom was crying over..) And this girl, has been sorta like an older sister to me as well. She probably doesn’t know this, but she has taught me so much, and in a way, I kinda look up to her. And knowing that I won't be seeing her every Sunday like I have for oh... the last 5 or so years... really... makes me upset. Oh and along with her, the boy is leaving as well. And maybe all of this hasn't exactly hit me yet, but I know that I will be crushed when he leaves. He, like Sharon, has taught me a lot as well. He so... intelligent. And everything he says just makes... sense. I don't know. I do this thing where I get emotionally (sometimes physically) attached to people... which isn't exactly a good thing cause these people tend to move away and just sorta leave me here. (*Ahem* Megan, Ching, Tsin sue, SIVAN, Sharon, David...) And I'm not too good when it comes to change either. I don't like it, I try to avoid it, but yet it still has that sneaky way of coming back to me. Well... maybe not so sneaky...
But anyway. So yeah. Important people in my life are either not here or are leaving. Well, Esther will still be here... but she's gonna be off doin' her college thing as well. And sure, my friends will come back and visit. But college changes people. They will be in a completely different environment, with new people and new... things. They won't have time or have little time to think of that little junior girl back here. I always say that I should just befriend people my own age. Or I wonder what would happen if I made different choices. Like... what if I didn't decide to be nice and help out the new girl with her schedule back in 6th grade? Would Siv and I be best friends like we are now? Or... what if I decided that I should stay home to help my mom with moving last summer instead of going to camp? I know that Boy and I would not be dating now. And if I hadn't met these people... I would probably be someone completely different. And I like how things turned out they way they are... (Well... I'm not too thrilled about the fact that Sharon and Boy are leaving, and that Siv is on the other side of the country...) But overall, I'm happy. So maybe change isn't that all that bad...
Then again, change just sucks.