Friday, November 30, 2001

10 Things I Hate About Me:

*I don't exercise. Feel bad about it, and yet, I still plan not to.
*I procratinate like mad. Like now, for instance. Should be doing an English essay, but no.
*I still don't have my driver's licence. Oh wait. Don't have a permit either.
*I'd rather spend a Friday night in front of the computer than go out (unless it's been planned out a week before or boy is in town.)
*I like Britney Spears, Hanson, Clueless, "Nsync, and Dawson's Creek.
*I have this weird habit where I would peel those little stickers from fruit and stick them on our sink. What is wrong with me?
*I listen to cartoon theme songs and Disney soundtracks. And I sing along.
*I burp and blow it at people face. No wait. I don't hate that. That's funny.
*Burger King is one of my favorite restaurants. And I don't exercise. I'm so gonna die by the time I hit 35. Hopefully I will make it that far.
*I cry at just about every single movie.
*I collect Got Milk? ads and treasure them. And... wait a sec. This is #11
*I can't count.

In other news, the most yuckiest person in school told me he had a prince Albert today. Gag me with a 12 foot pole. Please. I seriously thought that I was going to lose my lunch. But I ran away from him instead.

Wednesday, November 28, 2001

So a friend sent me a link to take one of those online IQish tests. So I took it, and guessed on about 1/3 of them and guess what it told me? "Your score was 26 out of 30. That is an excellent score, you would have a very strong chance of passing the Mensa test and joining Mensa." To which Tammy would respond, "Who's Mensa?" And I don't really think they'd want someone who listens to friken cartoon theme songs for entertainment to be associated with them. ^_^

You *have* to get this mp3: Space Ghost - Don't Touch Me. It is 50 seconds of nothing but him saying "don't touch me" but it is fabulous. Actually, you probably won't find this half as entertaining as Tammy does at 4:30 in the morning. (Never Trust a Monkey is quite funny as well...)

Oh and you wanna know just how big of a freak I am? I am downloading theme songs to cartoons. I got Captain Planet, Doug, Samurai Jack, Care Bears, Fraggle Rock, and currently working on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. God, I am such a loser.

Tuesday, November 27, 2001

Something scary about my apartment Part II:

So we have this really pretty throw (is that how you spell it? One of those blanket things.) on a chair in our living room. Last summer, when we moved from our house to this apartment, we brought that over and draped it over our chair. And about a month after we moved it, my mom yelled at me for messing up the tassles on the throw. The tassles were all tangled up. Now, when I say tangled up, I mean it was really tangled. It took my mom almost 6 hours to take it apart to get it back to normal. But then we figured that maybe it was the cat that I was kittysitting for a couple of weeks, cause you know, cats like to play with that kind of stuff. So~ No biggie. But. About a month or so after, the same thing happens again. Lettme take the time to remind you, this was over summer, so I didn't touch that throw the entire time because it was to damn hot to use. And even if my mom used it, she's not the type of person to mess around with tassels. So basically, it just sorta sits there and looks pretty, meaning that there's no way that either my mom or I tangled them all up, and there's no way that it could get so tangled from just people kinda brushing it aside. Now you might just be thinking like, oh, it's just some knots here and there, whatever. No. Even if it was me who did that, I would have had to spent hours do that to the throw. The knots were so complex and intricate and it looks like someone delibrately tied them together like that so someone could not get it unknotted. And no one touched this blanket. Hmm.... Creepy. It's still there on the chair. The tassles are still tangled up because I just could not get them apart.

Sunday, November 25, 2001

Conversation about 5 completely different things within 2 minutes that I had with a friend tonight...

"I... I just don't understand how c-o-l-o-n-e-l is pronounced "kernel". How the hell does "kernel" come from Colon-el? What is wrong with the English language? Who's idea was it to pronounce "Colon-el" as "Kernel"? I hate white people."
"But Tammy. You're as white as we are."
"Hey. Don't make me bust out my mad karate moves on you."
"You don't know Karate."
"Sure I do. Haven't you heard the stereotype? Every Asian knows some form of martial arts."
"No. But I've heard the one that all of you guys have either played the piano or violin and are total math geeks."
"That's not a stereotype. That's a fact. But it still doesn't explain the whole colonel ordeal."
"Go to bed before you hurt yourself."
"Oh I'll probably hurt myself from jumping off our balcony while sleepwalking."

Wanna hear something scary? Yeah? Here goes: Today is Sunday. So on Thursday, after a big yummy feast at someone I don't know's house, the one in the mom suit and I come home and go to bed. Next morning, we woke up to find that both our locks are unlocked. (Sidenote: We have two of the same locks on our door, both of which can be locked/unlocked from the inside. But you can only lock/unlock the bottom lock from the outside. So there's no way that one could get to the top lock without making a mess out of the door. You can't even see the top lock from the outside because you can only get to it from the inside. Double security. Get it? Okay... story goes on.) And so mom was like "Hrm.. that's weird." Because we always make sure that we have both locks locked before we go to bed cause we're paranoid like that. But we figure that we were just tired from eating so much that we just forgot or something. Whatever, no big deal. So that night, we both made sure that both locks were locked before we went to bed. And lo and behold, both locks were unlocked when we woke up the next morning. First of all, if it was a burglar trying to get in, there is absolutely *no way* they could have gotten both locked unlocked from the outside. And they couldn't have crawled through a window because we live on the 4th story. And secondly, I forgot what I was going to say. But yeah. I just hope to God that I sleepwalk. But even so, that's scary. My friend's boyfriend's cousin got killed sleepwalking. Ugh. So I'm officially scared of me.

Friday, November 23, 2001

A thing that made me want to punch someone today:

After 4 tortureous hours of practicing for a skit that I'm in and have to compete next Saturday, mom and I drove past 100 Oaks and we're like, "Oh, I know what will help us unwind... shop at T. J. Maxx (which is perhaps my all time favorite store)!" And my mom rarely is actually like, hey I'm gonna buy you clothes, so I had to seize the oppourtunity. Besides, I really needed some jeans and black pants. Anyway. After I got my pants, I was just browsing through the jackets and coats section and I saw a person who works at Maxx put up a coat. And I swear, it was like, love at first sight or something. It was an absolutely beautiful black jacket that came down to my knees with pink lining on the inside. I love pink. I think I melted into that jacket because it fit perfectly and I have been looking everywhere for a jacket like that and I didn't want to take it off once I put it on. So I wore it around for a while until my mom was ready to go to the fitting rooms. Since you are only allowed to bring in 6 items of clothing, I had to leave one thing behind... and since I already knew that this jacket fit, I decided to take it off and bring the other stuff in. And then what I did makes me want to bang my head against the wall over and over again. I left it in the shopping cart. Okay. Tammy. What the hell were you thinking, leaving a gorgeous Guess coat that's less than $35 in a shopping cart unattended the day after Thanksgiving??? I guess you can figure out what happened next. I don't like to keep thinking about it because it just makes me sad. And yeah, if you are a guy, you're probably thinking, "Shut up woman. Get over it, it's just a coat, there are a million other ones out there." To which I would say, "Screw you." This coat was the epitome of perfect coats. And I searched the store high and low to find another one, but to no avail. I am going to think about that jacket for the rest of the week and hit myself every time I do. It's not gonna leave my mind because it... Oooh ice cream! =)

Thursday, November 22, 2001

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!



Thanksgiving has kinda lost its meaning for me. The past couple of years, my mom and I would just go to someone's house that I don't know too well and eat lots of good food. And yeah... that's great, and don't get me wrong, I don't really mind cause c'mon, Potluck dinner + 20 Chinese Familes = Heaven For a Night. So yeah. Nothing to complain about... except... it kinda goes along with how Thanksgiving losing meaningness for me. I don't know... but isn't T-giving supposed to be about being grateful for everything? And being with your family? And all that cheesy goodness? I remember the first Thanksgiving I had here in the States. My mom went to Memphis to do some business work and my dad picked me up from school on Wednesday and told me that we are going down there to suprise my mom. So. We did. And he took us out to a fancy restaurant (well, as fancy as restaurants can get in Memphis anyway) and it was yum. Then the year my brother moved here, we had a huge family reunion type thing. People from all over the world ~ Taiwan, Hong Kong, Toronto, Houston, LA, Shanghai, Hawaii ~ came just for this one weekend. I met cousins, uncles, anuts, that I never knew existed. And... though cleanup was a bitch, it was incredible. Seeing all of my family there at once. And... it was just a great feeling. We've never had a family reunion since~ Or such a big party for Thanksgiving. But after that, we had our annual fondue-at-home dinners, which just plain kicked ass. We ate until we felt like we were going to throw up and then ate some more. Leaves you with the feeling like you've just gained 70 pounds. But. I don't remember ever doing that once my dad died and Terence went to college. I guess having a huge meal with just two people didn't seem too appealing. So we just ended up going to other people's houses. Which is fine because that's like, Thanksgiving dinner times 20. But... just... sometimes I miss our own dinners, you know? The ones were it was just me, my dad, mom, and brother. And when I asked my friends what they were doing this year, they would say they are either flying out to have dinner with their grandparents, or have a big family dinner at their house and their older siblings are coming back from college to join them... it makes me kinda sad because I don't have that. Most of my family are on the other side of the country, my brother is staying with Austin, so it's just me and my mom. Which is why I'd put her at the top of the list of things I'm grateful for. Cause, well, she's technically all I've got, and without her, well, I'd have no one to celebrate anything with, let alone Thanksgiving. I apologize if I'm getting to sappy for your liking... but... Just be happy that you have something that many people don't and would die to have. And as to what I'm gonna be doing this year for Thanksgiving... probably going to someone I don't know's house for potluck. Happy Turkey Day!

Wednesday, November 21, 2001

Things that amuse me from TV yesterday:

*I watched MTV's Carson Daly on TRL, then on Rosie, then on The Daily Show, and then on TRL again. Quadruple dose of Carson. Can't beat that.
*Nsync was #6 on 106 and Park's Top Ten on BET. I could have sworn that Nsync was white...
*You can get two watches for only 5 bucks at Wal-mart's blowout Thanksgiving sale. Today! From 6 to 11 a.m.! Oh wait. It's 1:45. Nevermind then~
*Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock? Madly in love? Oh gag me with a 10 foot pole.
*Pepperidge Farm's goldfish is the snack that smiles back at you... I don't know, but hearing that makes me kinda uncomfortable.

Ahh... Entertainment. Where would I be without it?

In other news... I didn't have school today =) I got to sleep in and all that good stuff. Boy is coming home tonight. And. All is well.

Monday, November 19, 2001

So I just finished reading Dean Koontz's Fear Nothing. It's quite... interesting. I kinda want to read the sequel but if I do that I might be tempted to go on a Koontz frenzy and waste my life away reading suspense fictions with cheesy reviews. But nonetheless, it was a good read. Better than any Melville by all means. Teachers should make you read this crap instead... But if you wanted to read something by good ole Dean, try either False Memory or Hideaway.

While I'm talking about books, let it be known that I hate reading. So any books that I actually read and like, has to be extraordinarily good (in my opinion, anyway). Then again, since I hardly ever read, I don't really have any other books to base the goodness of the book I like on. But. Here are some I really enjoyed (in no particular order):

Dr. Seuss - Green Eggs and Ham
J.D. Salinger - The Catcher in the Rye
Wally Lamb - She's Come Undone
Sam McBratney - Guess How Much I Love You
Amy Tan - The Joy Luck Club
               The Kitchen God's Wife
Shel Silverstein - The Missing Piece
Shakespeare - A Midsummer Night's Dream
                      Othello
Alexandre Dumas - The Count of Monte Cristo
Brian Jacques - Redwall
Anthony Burgess - A Clockwork Orange
Roald Dahl - The BFG
                  The Witches

I can't really think of anymore... even if I did, they're probably gonna be by some author that writes for kids. What? I like kid books! Those are the ones that make you feel warm and fuzzy inside without having to dissect it, trying to find what the themes, figurative language used, symbols, etc., are... Besides, I bet you feel the same way about children's books. Or maybe you just think I'm a freak. Most likely the latter. Oh, and not only do I like children's books, I also love Disney movies. (Go see Monsters Inc.!!!) In fact, I'm listening to the Aladdin soundtrack as we speak. Really, too. Okay. I should go finish up my homework while humming "A Whole New World". (Hi. I'm a dork.)

Sunday, November 18, 2001

So it's almost 11:30 at night, one of my friends mentions something about a cookie. So of course, hearing the word "cookie", (well, seeing it, rather, since it was over AIM) stimulates the "fat food" part of Tammy's brain and flips the hunger switch from off to on. So there I was, seaching through the kitchen for a cookie, a chocolate-chip one in particular, but in vain. Actually, we have absolutely nothing good to eat at home... but you know what I did find? Organic Rice Cakes, otherwise known as food for the anorexic. So I was like, "No! Oh God no. Please let there be some other food in this pantry besides rice cakes. Pop Tarts! Even Pop Tarts will do!" But alas, all we had were fucking rice cakes. They're so unappetizing that they make me say the f-word. They're not even the flavored kinds, like Sour Cream & Onion, or Cheddar. They're just lightly salted. Lightly salted my butt! They taste like cardboard with a little hint of sawdust. So here I am, munching on these horrible round things, mad because I'm hungry, mad because there's nothing else for me to eat, mad because rice cakes suck.

Best thing about all-you-can-eat-buffets: You can eat all that you are possibly able to.
Worst thing about all-you-can-eat-buffets: You will eat all that you are possibly able to.

In other news: My friend gave me one of these last weekend (a cow one). Pointless? Yes. But amusing? Oh definitely. So anyway~ The same friend was playing with it today and she accidently squeezed too hard and the poop popped out. So now I have a poopless cow keychain that isn't so fun anymore. =(

Friday, November 16, 2001

11 piddidles in one night. I think that's a world record or something. And people down here really need to get their headlights fixed.

Thursday, November 15, 2001

Ugh I can smell the trash that's in the kitchen. And I'm in my room. With the door closed. It smells *so* bad. Grotesque =P Must be that severed head that my mom finally decided to discard. Ewww.

So anyway. I've been helping my government teacher after school this past week, you know, grading papers, hanging stuff up, running off copies, and the such. (What? I'm not sucking up, I swear! Besides. She pays me.) Anyway, I was helping her proofread her 1st period English III student's papers about what life styles, technology, clotheswear, medical care, etc, would be like 20 years from now, and here's come excerpts:

"Saggy pants will more than likely stay because tight clothes hurt. Gold teeth will always be here because they are da bomb."
"Japan will not like Korea because if North and South Korea powers combine, they will be super power."
"There will be new sports like tackle basketball, tackle hockey, tackle golf, tackle baseball, tackle soccer, tackle bowling, tackle everything because I like to tackle."
"I hope doctors will find a cure for STDs because I want to have sex with my girlfriend but she has gonorrhea."
"Maybe there will be cars that fly and don't make a 'vroom vroom' noise when they start because that really annoys me."
"Hopefully I will be out of high school in 20 years."

This job totally rocks my world.

Monday, November 12, 2001

Favorite part of my AP Biology book part III ---> Chapter 12: Meiosis and Sexual Life Cycles page 235: "You really are unique."

Thank you Random Fertilization, for pointing out my uniqueness.

Boooooo. Projects aren't fun. 5 other girls and I are in the same group to work on analysis of the characteristics of Transcendentalism and Romaticism in Emerson and Thoreau. Last Monday our same group had to work on the phycological aspects of the crappiest book in the world, Billy Budd, we BS'ed our way to make a 100. Hopefully we can do the same tomorrow. But it's really kinda hard do a group project when 2 people aren't even there to work on it, and the other one is talking to/about her boyfriend the entire time. I don't know if we'll be able to pull off a good grade tomorrow. I don't think I can even say the word, transcendentalism. Bleh. I suck.

"Yes. There is such thing as A-sexual reproduction... But I bet it's just not as fun." ~Words of wisdom from my AP Biology teacher

"How is he gonna be calling me 'white trash'... My neighbor is Eddie George for cryin' out loud!"

Sunday, November 11, 2001

Sundays suck. Almost as much as Mondays do, because on Sundays you're like, "Damn. Tomorrow is Monday." And Mondays suck a whole lot. So there's a lot of suckage between these two days. I can't wait until Thanksgiving break. And then Christmas. Woo wee I love Christmas. But until then, I'll just talk about how much I dislike Sundays and Mondays.

"Incestual relationships are bad! Oh wait. We're in Tennessee. Carry on."

Friday, November 9, 2001

Jergens lotion, which is my 2nd favorite kind of lotion, right under Nivea, has come out with a new scent. Seaweed. Mmm... Seaweed smellion lotion... That is what you call a great scent. I'll smell like sushi! What more could you want? Yum ^_^

I learned how to purl all by myself! Everyone say yay! *Colletive groans*

Thursday, November 8, 2001

This scares me. Like, what the hell? Pee Wee Herman, Hary Potter, Mr. Bean, Colin from Who's Line, and Bush all in one Japanese music video? Something ain't right in the world today.

"Hyakugojyuuichi"? David~ You should translate this whole thing for me. ^_~

Arr I'm so hungry... I was supposed to have a good breakfast and lunch today. I was supposed to have a chocolate crossiant for breakfast... (Yeah it might sound gross, but it's *so* good. Made japanese style. Mmm.) My mom put it in the fridge yesterday for the sole purpose of not wanting it to melt. And chocolate is good cold anyway. But she put the darn thing in the oven this morning, so all the chocolate melted everywhere and it was just one big mess. Looked like someone took a shit over my my crossiant. So I was like, Mom, put that back in the fridge, I'm not eating that now... I had a yum sandwich for lunch. I actually took the time to make it last night. Twas turkey with tomatoes and lettuce. And during Art class, me being the idiot that I am, left the sandwich on the table for a couple of minutes while I went to go wash my hands. I came back to find it splattered all over the floor, tomato and turkey pieces everywhere. And I think someone stepped on it too. So all I was left to eat was an orange with too many seeds. Bah. Maybe I should go find something to eat instead of whining and bitching about my lost lunch and breakfast. Oh but it's so much fun to whine and bitch... Oh and that website where the guys would pay 10G for a wife, you know, the one with the kickass midi? Well I didn't even notice this until Boy mentioned something about it. But the Who Am I page plays the Mission Impossible theme. =) That guy totally rocks.

Wednesday, November 7, 2001

New thing that I've noticed about me #2: Everytime I stretch, I lean back in my chair and arch my back and strech my arms out as far as they would go. It feels great. Problem is, I get stuck in that position. My back will hurt really badly if I try to move it and it takes me a while to get back to my normal sitting position. Ugh. Stupid back.

In other news, you gotta get J-Zone's Bum Bitch Ballad. It's thooper. I was listening to it earlier and I was like "Hmm. I should be offended by this song." But I'm not. I like the moosic in the background. But it's not as good as the midi.

Haha. This is funny. It even plays cheesy midi music in the background. I think the midi is funnier than the content itself. Midi RULES!

Tuesday, November 6, 2001

Ahh.. I'm actually gonna be able to get some rest tonight. I had barely any homework since I had a gazillion (two) tests today and I went to bed at ungodly hours last night, I mean, this morning. Sooo... Tammy --> bed. Mmm mmm good. It's not even 7 yet. =)

"It's not Billy Bud, silly. It's Billy... Budd."

"I think someone put crack in our chicken Mcnuggets."

Sunday, November 4, 2001

Mmmm.... Gooorrrditaaas.....

Friday, November 2, 2001

Animals That Don't Make Sense



THE WALRUS

Okay. So would someone care to explain to me why on earth this animal exists? It serves absolutely no purpose. It is a big fat blob of fat that does nothing but lays around and looks stupid. (Hmm. Sounds like me.) They're not even cute! If they were cute I'd be like aww it's fat but its soo cute. But they're dumb looking! They are a 2000 pound piece of shit with tusks and wiskers. And why the hell do they need whiskers for? Cats use them as sensors to see if they can fit through places. What the hell can a walrus fit through? All it ever does is just lie there anyway.

THE MANATEE

Manatees are walruses without the tusks. [See above]

THE DUCK-BILLED PLATYPUS

Um... so what went wrong in the evolutionary process here? This animal has a bill of a duck, a tail of a beaver, it has froggy webbed feet, and yet, it is a mammal? Was God drunk or something when he made this one? Was he like "Muahah. Let's see them figure this one out."? Oh and on the ankles of their webbed feet, they have little fangs that are poisonous, making them the only poisonous mammal in the world. I bet the platypus' never had any friends.

THE OPOSSUM

This is quite possibly one of the most disgusting animals I have ever seen in my life. They kinda remind me of Zero from A Nightmare Before Christmas, but Zero was cute, and possums... aren't. Ugh. Just look at it. It looks like a skeleton with those nasty eyes and they eat trash and attack poor little animals, and yet they know how to *play* dead. Woop-de-do. These nocturnal marsupials serve no purpose except to look gross. They are hideous and and a disgrace the the rest of us mammals.

Ugh I can't fall asleep. You were right David, that nap I took is keeping me awake. Beh. Or maybe it's that cup-o-coffee that my mommy made me. But whatever the case, I can't sleep. Not good. It's almost 2 in the morning. You can probably tell since I changed some stuff around here. It's bloo! And did you notice that I changed the cursor trail to go along with the color scheme? Yeah man. And I changed the font so maybe it'll be a little more readable now. Maybe I should just not sleep all night. Then again, last time I did that, I passed out for like, 15 hours. At least it's Friday. It doesn't feel like Friday at all since we had Wednesday off.
I've been listening to the semi-new Janet Jackson cd all night. It's freaky. Not freaky like, creepy scary hi-I'm-Marilyn-Manson freaky, but freaky as in Barry-White-Let's-Get-It-On freaky. It's some good stuff though. One of my favorite lines from one of her songs featuring Carly Simon: "And if it wasn't from that damn cream there'd be no clouds in my coffee." I love that. Okay I'm gonna try and get some sleep now... Nighty bye.

So I really really should be working on homework. But how can I when there are so many great pick up lines out there for us chicas to enjoy? How that relates to me not being able to concentrate on homework, I don't know. My favorite one: "Your parents must be retarded because you're really special." Yeah. That'll definitely make me want to jump a guy. Boys disgust me. =P

"If you're gonna copy someone's homework, don't do it in my class, right smack in front of me. If you're gonna cheat, make sure you don't get caught." ~Words of wisdom from my English/History teacher.