Thursday, January 31, 2008

I got my nails done after work today. It went a little something like this:



Okay not really. But I did feel bad about going in 45 minutes before they closed, knowing full well that it takes a least an hour to get a refill. Oh God, I'm totally like those annoying girls that come in 5 minutes before we lock our doors and stay 30 minutes after closing to try stuff on, only to buy a pair of socks. I suck.

Anyway, I LOVE watching someone else do my nails. I think it's amazing how they can take my busted-ass hands that were 2 weeks overdue on a refill, and make them beautiful again - it's an art! So, I caught myself staring at the nail guy, when all of a sudden, I drooled on myself. I guess I was just so intrigued that I didn't notice my mouth was open. Or maybe I find Vietnamese Nail Technicians to be incredibly sexy. Or maybe I'm just fucking retarded.

Uhm. I don't know where I was going with this post, so I'm bringing this old picture back. For shits and giggles.


[In case you don't get it.]

Monday, January 28, 2008

After 4 years of incessant nagging, my high school girlfriends (and Mike, who was one of the girls) finally flew out to Austin to come visit me. And I think the amount of fun we had in a short few days should be considered illegal. Anyway, I could go into long stories of the festivities that went down, or I could give you...


My Weekend Re-Cap [Top 5 Edition]


Events
1. When I didn't think Mike and Emma would make it in on Thursday night because their flights got delayed. But everyone made it into Austin safe and in one piece.
2. When Mike somehow wandered into Phuong's roommate, Enkrii's, room in the middle of the night, STOLE HER BLANKET OFF OF HER, and passed out on her floor. Phuong and I woke up to Enkrii standing in the middle of Phuong's room saying, "Uhm. Mike's asleep on my floor. And he took my blanket." FYI, Mike and Enkrii don't know each other.
3. Seeing Emma and Lindsey get completely obliterated. An Austin trip wouldn't be complete if you didn't get completely fucked up and waking up the next morning regretting the night before.
4. Getting a room with an awesome view at the Radisson Hotel on Cesar Chavez and being able to walk to 4th.
5. Being reunited with another high school friend of mine, Nathan. He and I had classes together Junior and Senior year of HS, but we never kept in touch after we graduated. Emma did and called him to come out with us on Saturday night. He moved to Austin about 4 months ago and now he works at... where else, J.CREW. He's been a few stores down from me for 2 months and I never knew. Small world.

Food
1. Bratwurst from 6th Street after a night of severe drinking.
2. Hot wings and cheese fries from Pluckers.
3. Chips and queso from Trudy's.
4. Pad Thai from Thai Passion.
5. My cookie from Whole Foods.

Quotes
1. "How do stairs work? Do they move, or do I move?" -Emma, attempting to walk up the 3 flights of stairs to Phuong's apartment.
2. "The South will rise again!!!" -Emma, to some strangers in a bar on 6th Street.
3. "I just want a booty call." -Sue, after coming home drunk at 4 in the morning.
4. "I need a cup of water. But I don't have a bra." -An inebriated Emma, as if a cup of water and a bra go hand-in-hand.
5. "I'm gonna drink Heinekens and Jager Bombs all fuckin' night. Jager Bomb. Jager Bomb. Jager Bomb..." -Lindsey (whilst drunk in Cuba Libre, to herself) making fun of this guy.

Pictures
1.
All of my favorite girls together. [L to R: Phuong, Karol, Emma, Me, Molly, Lindsey]
2.
Because Mike's a motherfuckin' P-I-M-P.
3.
Seriously? The best picture of Lindsey, ever.
4.
Jumping on hotel beds is flippin' sweet.
5.
I absolutely love this candid picture of Molly and Nathan... And then, you have Lindsey and Emma making ridiculous faces as bookends.

[The rest of the pictures can be found: Here, here, and here.]

To Emma, Lindsey, Molly, and Mike - thank you for an absolutely PERFECT weekend. Words cannot describe how much I love you guys, and how happy I am to have y'all in my life. I can't believe that how much time has passed since we've all graduated, but I'm just glad we've managed to keep in touch after all these years. Thank you, and I hope y'all had as much fun as I did. :)

Thursday, January 24, 2008

My Nashville bitches are in town for the weekend. Be back on Sunday.


That is, if I'm not dead.

Velvet Revolver will be playing at Stubb's next Thursday. As much as I miss Stone Temple Pilots, and loathe the musical atrocity known as Velvet Revolver, I'm really tempted to spend the outrageously overpriced $55 to make an attempt at fulfilling my livelong dream of fucking the shit out of Scott Weiland.



I don't care that he's battled with hard drugs and alcohol for a good portion of his life. I don't care that he's manic depressive and FUCKING BAT-SHIT CRAZY. I don't care that he's been in and out of jail over the span of 10 years. Hell, I don't even care that he had a "brief relationship" with Courtney Love, meaning that his penis was probably in her at some point (okay, maybe a little).

I've wanted to sleep with Scott Weiland before I even knew what sex was. He is the epitome of my ideal Tortured-Rock-Star-Bad-Boy-Won't-Call-You-the-Morning-After kind of man.

So. Think I've got a chance?

Wednesday, January 23, 2008



Sigh. I miss bad early-90s mainstream pop.

[Edit]

I added two new songs to my Radio.Blog over there to your right. ---->

Muse - Supermassive Black Hole: My current favorite work-out song. It pumps *clap* me up.

Kings of Leon - Fans: Heather (from work) played this on her iPod at work one day, and I think it was my attraction to the lead's voice that made me get their CD. They're extra awesome because they're based out of Nashville. I also love the lines,

Now take me down
Don't you let those tears quench the thirsty ground
Don't you be so scared that you can't make a sound
Make a sound for me

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

This cold front in Austin is wearing me out.

I know I always complain about the constant 94 degree weather, and the 107% humidity, but dare I say, I kind of miss it.

Okay, maybe not, but this rainy, cold thing has got to go.



P.S. I worked out for 2 hours tonight, and when I got home, I made sausages. Now I think I'm going to throw up. Just thought I'd like to share.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

So I spoke a little too soon when I called my mom out for being such a goddamn FOB.



Does that really say "1 Comments"?? Man. Blogger and my mom would get along great.

"Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mom or my dad... or maybe my older brother John. Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I'm pretty sure it's John."

Saturday, January 19, 2008

My Foo-dong bought me a bunch of yummy Asian snacks and foods as part of my Christmas gift, and one of the things she got me was Green Tea Mousse Pocky.



Believe you me, this is quite possibly the best thing I've put in my mouth in a long while. Unfortunately, the box only comes with three packs, and there's only 4 of these amazing sticks in each pack. BOO!

Anyway, on the pack, it states, "Lighten up your day with Pocky's super smooth aero-chocolate." I'm not quite sure what "aero-chocolate" is, but I'm pretty positive that it's Japan's way of saying, "Buy me. I'm fucking delicious."

Thanks, Phuong.

Friday, January 18, 2008

I got a haircut yesterday and now I totally look like a power lesbian.

I don't know how I feel about this. Maybe I should go on some lesbian cruise and explore my sexuality.

"I slept with a woman on the ship, and afterwards I was thinking, "Am I gaaaay? Am I straaaaight?" And then I realized: I'm just slutty. Where's MY parade?" -Margaret Cho

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

This past year, my mom's Christmas gift to herself was learning how to shop via the World Wide Web. Now, I understand you don't know my mom well. But just try to imagine your typical "fobby" Asian woman, completely computer illiterate (I love it when she still double-clicks on hyper-links), doesn't understand a goddamn thing I say, fuck, someone who doesn't even use articles when she speaks, shop online. But believe when I say, my mom is a motherfucking fiend when it comes to online shopping now. She bought Terence, Suzy, Winnie, and Madeline all something from different internet sites for Christmas. Amazing.

Anyway, about a week ago, she ordered me the Sonicare toothbrush from Target.com (because she loves me and cares deeply for my oral hygiene). And even though Momzilla is totally boss at internet shopping, she still manages to write me something like this:



In case you can't read that, it says:

Dear Tammy, Have a blessed and healthy year 2008. May this products will shine your teeth. Mom.


Let me repeat that last part for you in cause you missed it. MAY THIS PRODUCTS WILL SHINE YOUR TEETH.

How does someone who has lived in this country, and spoken this language for the last 17+ years still manage to talk like that? I love it.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

I go to a gym near my house that closes at closes at 11pm on Thursdays and Friday, and 8pm on Saturdays and Sundays. Which is fine and all... BUT IT'S FUCKING 24 HOUR FITNESS.

That's what you call "false advertising", folks... but I guess "24 Hour Fitness (But Only On Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays)" would be too long to fit on the building.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

I finally added some new songs to my Radio.Blog over there to the right. And now that I figured out how to take songs off my iPod and onto my PC, I might start updating this thing more. But I wouldn't hold my breath.

I will say though, the songs I have are pretty damn good. Check it:

Bloc Party feat. Peaches - Helicopter (Remix): I love English alternative rock bands. I especially love it when they have been remixed to where they sound like 80's electro. [Original. But it's nowhere as good.]

Erykah Badu - Danger: Can you say, "I've got the block on lock, the trunk stay locked. The gun on cocked, the block stay hot"?

Kelis - 80's Joint: Not your typical "Bossy" or "Milkshake" Kelis. Better.

Nouvelle Vague - In a Manner of Speaking... Love: This cover is so beautiful that it gives me chills. For a French group that only does covers... kudos. [Original. Again, not as good.]

N.E.R.D. - Lapdance: Because well, you can get this lapdance here for free.

Ingrid Michaelson - Die Alone: As pretentious and pompous Juicy Couture is, they actually crank some pretty good tunes. This being one of them. Catchy. But not like Avril Lavigne catchy. That's catchy and bad.

Daft Punk - Harder Better Faster Stronger: Yes, I know that Kanye's sample of this song is still all over the radios, but I used to jam out to this song back in high school. Plus, I don't think Kanye could do this.

Aaliyah - One in a Million (Ciara Remix): This is my favorite Aaliyah song of all time, and this remix is just plain hot.

Britney Spears - Get Naked (I Got a Plan): What?? I had to! I don't care how fucking crazy she is, she can still come out with some good shit that you'd love-to-hate.

Portishead - Roads: Best sex song. EVER. 'Nuff said.

Sea Wolf - You're a Wolf: This is another song from the Juicy soundtrack. I dig it.

The Knife - Heartbeats: Europeans come out with some of the best stuff. This Swedish-pop group also likes to get cute and wear masks in all their concerts. [Jose Gonzalez has a pretty good cover of it too.]

Nine Inch Nails - Just Like You Imagined: This was featured in the 300 trailer, so every time I hear it, I want to walk around yelling, "Madness?! THIS. IS. SPARTAAAAA!!"

M.I.A. - Come Around: Because M.I.A. is the baddest bitch out there (not to mention, incredibly hot and talented as well). And of course, how can you go wrong with Timbaland producing your song?

Young Love - Discotech: Mainly because I just love the line, "You can fake this only if you take this".

Ida Corr feat. Fedde Le Grande: How can I go to a gay club almost every weekend and not put some queeny-ass dance song on here? Anthony made me watch the video after seeing a t-shirt I had of a girl in sunglasses with an afro. Now, it's my official going-to-a-gay-bar anthem.

There you go. Lettme know what you think.

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

So, some wack-job German company has come out with the latest fragrance: COOTER JUICE [NSFW].

Ew.

EWWW.

Apparently this shit is so potent that you're only supposed to put a drop of it on the back of your hand, and you'll spend the rest of the day wishing you hadn't.

Can someone please enlighten me as to why you would want your hand to smell like poontang all day long? Every time I think about it, I throw up in my mouth a little.

I will give them props for a great domain name, though.

Monday, January 7, 2008

Things that are really satisfying at work, but shouldn't be:

  • Collecting giant dust bunnies with our handy-dandy Swiffer.

  • Wiping down the accessory table with glass cleaner when it gets especially dirty.

  • When customers spray our doggy "pawfum" on themselves, even though the packaging specifically says "Doggie Crittoure Pawfum" and it's on a table that only has dog stuff on it. Dumbasses.

  • When my store manager doesn't know something, and I do.

  • Drawing mustaches and uni-brows on all the "historical figures" on the $20's, $50's, and $100's with the counterfeit pen.

  • Turning down customers' returns because it's an intimate, been over 60 days, the tags unattached, no original tender, even though it states clearly on the receipt what the return policies are. Dumbasses.

  • Seeing cool people. Hi, Ana! :)

  • When people pull the front door to get out instead of push.

  • When I hear Nicole say something along the lines of, "Danielle, you dumb bitch."

  • When my store manager acts really gay.

  • When customers try to open the accessory table drawers to help themselves (or to steal) but guess what, they're locked, suckers!!!

  • When Ashley (my assistant manager) makes our stock lead cry. Haha.

  • When customers try to open the front door before we're open or after we're close, but guess what, they're locked, suckers!!! Try to follow mall hours next time.

  • When I hear Weezer and Rolling Stones on our playlist.

  • Saturday, January 5, 2008



    I watched Juno tonight with my Foo-Dong, and had I watched this a week ago, it would have knocked 30 Days of Night (sorry, Vamps) off my Top Seven Movies of 2007, but now it'll have to go in 2008's. This movie was all sorts of awkward but fucking hilarious (totally my sense of humor - "You should've gone to China, you know, 'cause I hear they give away babies like free iPods. You know, they pretty much just put them in those t-shirt guns and shoot them out at sporting events." I mean, c'mon! That's genius!), and yet there was a touch of charm and vulnerability. The fantastic writing was matched only by the impeccable performances by Ellen Page (whom I totally want to date now) and Michael Cera. Now why, can't all teen movies be this good?

    Oh, right, cause you put Paris Hilton in them.

    Oh well, can't win them all, I guess.

    [But seriously, watch Juno. You'll love it.]

    Thursday, January 3, 2008

    And the Best Answer to a Mathematical Problem Award goes to:



    If only I had thought to put that when I took my AP Calculus exam in high school...

    Tuesday, January 1, 2008

    Tammy's Top 7 List for 2007
    [2003. 2004. 2005. 2006]


    Albums
  • Britney Spears - Blackout [Because according to Mike, I "have the worst taste in music, ever". But in my defense, it's a freaking good CD considering Miss Britney is FUCKING CRAZY. Even Amazon thinks so!]
  • Radiohead - In Rainbows [Uhm. Cause it's fuckin' Radiohead.]
  • Kanye West - Graduation [Possible titles for Kanye's next album found: here.]
  • Nine Inch Nails - Year Zero
  • Lily Allen - Alright, Still
  • M.I.A. - Kala [They played this shit at Juicy, and I loved it. M.I.A. is the hottest thing to ever come out of Sri Lanka.]
  • Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Is Is [Pros: The best 5-song album, ever. Cons: There were only 5 songs.]


    Overplayed Radio Songs
  • Soulja Boy - Crank Dat [And who doesn't know the dance to go with it??]
  • Britney Spears - Gimme More
  • Rihanna - Umbrella
  • Nelly Furtado - Promiscous
  • Kanye West - Stronger
  • Akon feat. Snoop Dogg - I Wanna Fuck You
  • Flo-Rida feat. T-Pain - Low

    Movies
  • Pan's Labyrinth [Definitely my favorite movie of 2007. Incredible]
  • Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street [Tim Burton + Johnny Depp + Musical? WIN!]
  • Ratatouille
  • Grindhouse [So I know I'm kinda cheating cause it's actually 2 movies... but sue me.]
  • 300 [Uhm, hello ripped men in loincloths.]
  • Superbad
  • 30 Days of Night [As far as scary movies go, this was probably the best one of the year.]

    Books
  • Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
  • A Thousand Splendid Suns
  • Wow, I only read 2 books in this entire past year?? No wonder I'm dum. [Note to self: MUST READ MORE FOR 2008]

    Events
  • Spring break in South Padre with my favorites
  • Going shot-for-shot with Phuong on St. Patty's, and getting WASTED at home while waiting for the cab that never came.
  • 4th of July week - where I went out and got wrecked for an entire week straight.
  • Every freaking Thursday and Saturday night at Rain with my gays.
  • Quitting J. Crew and starting at Juicy.
  • $1.50 pint nights at our beloved Crown and Anchor.
  • Spending a week in Santa Cruz with my Mikeys.

    Gifts
  • My hot tattoo from the Best Friend.
  • The badass new watch I got from my moms.
  • The many, many, many visits to Austin from my Mikeys.
  • My "damages" from J. Crew before I left. Hah.
  • My Blackberry Pearl from Momzilla.
  • The hook-up at my favorite bar and the many drinks I got for free.
  • My awesome Coach bangles from Sisssss.

    Pictures

    I miss my kitty. A lot.

    My favorites at Rain|Jimmies.

    Sunburned Dougie (GittOOUUTT!)|Typical Zetas

    Foo-Dong and I got engaged|What our last days at J.Crew were like



    Quotes
  • "Honeeeyyy... that is ONE to the T... SISSSSS." -Shawn
  • "Oh my God, it's really slippery right there!" -Me (after pretend-slipping over and over again on 6th)
  • "Hey look, your family is here." - What everyone at work says to me when someone Asian comes into the store.
  • "Let me pee in your butt." - Anthony
  • "You may be asking yourself, 'Who's that zombie in the fabulous gown?' Hey! It's me! Donatella Vesace!" - Maya Rudolph on SNL
  • "I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because some people out there in our nation don't have maps and I believe that our education like such as in South Africa and the Iraq and everywhere like such as and I believe that they should our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S. or should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future for us." - Lauren Upton (Miss South Carolina Teen USA), when asked why one-fifth of Americans can't locate the U.S. on a map.
  • "It's ready for a retarded president, why wouldn't it be ready for an African American president?" - Chris Rock, upon being asked whether this country is ready for an African American president

    And new for 2007:

    Resolutions
  • Get my weight down to 130, even if it means selling my body for a 40 of coke every other night [Joke, guys. Joke.] and drinking more water while doing so.
  • Manage my own store.
  • Mend broken relationships. One, in particular.
  • Read at least 6 books (that don't tell me "101 Ways to Become a Better Lover") before I turn into a dumbass.
  • Pay off all my debts.
  • Start blogging on a more consistent basis.
  • See the Spice Girls in concert.