Thursday, December 30, 2004

You know what I did tonight? I played Insaniquarium.

For 2 fucking hours.

I know that 2 hours doesn't seem that long for a game, as some of you have been known to play Halo and the like for 17 hours straight. But in case you actually have a life and don't have the time to sit down and play this one, let me give you a quick rundown of what it's about.

It's a fishtank. You have fish. You feed the fish. Your fish gets big. Fish poops out money. You fight off aliens. The end.

I played this. FOR TWO HOURS.

But! I did take some neato screenshots for you!


So if you keep your fish alive long enough, they turn blue, and instead of pooping out coins, they poop out diamonds (which are worth more money). Woowee look how many diamonds!
Yes, as you tell, diamonds are obviously worth a lot by the amount of money I have... Why can't fish do this in real life?



I started getting bored of just my blue fish, so I decided to buy some more...
Whee! Fishies!



... A lot more? (Just for the record, you start off with only 2 fish.)
Hey, what else am I gonna do at 3 in the morning?



Finally, I got tired of this game, so I let my fish die. Only, I would probably do that in real life too. Because hey, fish are boring, and the only thing they're good for is being dipped in tartar sauce.
Fishies... DIE!!! Heh heh.


Sigh. I need friends.

Monday, December 27, 2004

And yet another Christmas has passed us by.

Did you all have a good one? Good food? Good presents? Good company?

Did grandma knit you another sweater with a giant neon bird on it again?

Anyway, my family threw a big party for church friends on Christmas Eve. A lot of people came, but I can't really tell you who all did because I was too busy eating and hovering by the ridiculous amounts of food all night. To celebrate the birth of our Lord and savior, I decided to become a huge fat fat fatty. Hurray!

If you weren't invited because you weren't cool enough and Jesus hates you, you definitely missed out.

Aside from that, Santa must have accidently put me on the "Good" list this year because I got all sorts of fabulous presents. What can I say, I'm a lucky girl.

Danny suggested that I take a picture and I obliged. Too bad I'm still using my shitastic camera phone instead of a real camera. Sigh.


If you squint your eyes and stare at the center of the picture for about 7 seconds, you might be able to make out what's actually in the photo. [Note to self: invest in a digital camera. Please, for the love of God.]
[Closeup]



1. Nine West pink purse [kisses to Ruth and Esther]
2. Hilarious Slang Flashcards - Example of one [much love to Schmoopie]
3. Pac Sun furry purse [high-five to Big Steve]
4. Pink Liz Claiborne scarf [thanks to Momzilla]
5. Both Sondre Lerche CD's [hugs to David]
6. Burt's Bees Raspberry lip gloss and Bath & Body Work's Tutti Dolci lip gloss [much thanks to Hips for the gift certificate]
7. SanDisk 512mb MP3 Player [HUGE hugs to Momzilla and Andrew]

And the other gifts that couldn't be pictured:

8. 10 pounds
9. Watching Next Friday and Billy Madison on TBS
10. Slipping on ice flat on my ass. In broad-daylight. By a busy street.
11. Attempted Wal-Mart run
12. Watching Napoleon Dynamite [Favorite line from the movie: "I see you're drinking 1% milk. Is that because you think you're fat? Because you're not. You could probably be drinking whole milk."]
13. Sleeping with the familiar
14. Farting around with Momzilla

I'm spoiled, and I love it. :D

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Neato links. My present to you.

Barcode Yourself. It's always reassuring to know that I am worth a whopping $6.79. [Via Sivan]

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is coming out in 2005. Woo hoo! [Via David]

AOL Translator. OMG DIS IZ SO KEWL!! OMG WTF LOLOL!!!1!11!! [Via Sean]

This is the only thing I want for Christmas this year. [Via Joy]

MissusJoyJangles: all these vibrators make me wanna poop

Scary Santas - Shit, I think I'd be crying too if I had to sit anywhere near some of those Santas.

Make more snow, bitch! Aww... silly elves, you know that is what you get when you try to run away, right? [Via Davezilla]

1 Night in China on DVD! Best part of the review: "Problem is, what we can see looks like a faggy bodybuilder with a mullet banging a handsome transsexual. The freak-show, circus-act, car-crash appeal heightens when Joanie pops her clit and it’s not only pierced, but looks like a mini-penis."

Other things. Because you've been good this year:

  • Oh my Bugs, what a big... sword you have!

    What do you think you're doing Mr. Bunny?!


  • Do these toys remind you of me? Because Stephanie immediately called me upon seeing them in the store. Granted, I got really excited and said "Oh I know!! A BOOBAH!!!" when she asked, "You know that toy... comes in different colors... looks kind of like a blob..." but that's beside the point.

    Trip on some acid first and then click on me.


  • You. Yes you. Are invited to go bowling with your favorite Tammy and Molly tomorrow tonight Wednesday night at 8pm at Melrose Lane. Consider it a semi-Hillsboro High School reunion. With half the awkwardness and small-talk. Yeah, so try to make it if you can. Plus, it'll spare me the trouble of calling your ass up and harassing you until you do come.

  • And a special thank you to Jon for making my page pretty in all browsers! [It's Firefox-friendly now!] You're my hero.

    And with that, I'm out.

  • Tuesday, December 21, 2004

    I've given in.

    I tried not to, I really did. When all my friends began to do it, I told myself, "Self, it's easy to give into peer pressure, but think about it. Is this really what you want? Do you really want to throw away your future for a few minutes of self-gratification? Don't do it." And I resisted for months, while I saw almost all my friends slowly give in, one by one. And I was so good at it.

    But I've cracked.

    I couldn't hold myself back anymore. I just had to see what the hype was all about. So I gave in for a little taste of what they call "Heaven".

    Hello, Facebook.

    Sunday, December 19, 2004

    The current weather conditions for Brentwood, TN:



    Aw hell no, I did not come from perfect 70 degree weather to this.

    Saturday, December 18, 2004

    To my favorite Stephanie in the whole world...


    Happy Barfday! Hope you have a night full of... non-memories!


    Happy birthday, you. Wish I could be there to celebrate with you guys.

    Monday, December 13, 2004

    First and foremost, this girl is my hero. Julie - this reminds me of the time when you came to PCL with all those jello shots. What better than studying for finals? Studying for finals drunk.

    So. Home. It's good to be back and just away from it all.

    Although, I wish I could have shrunk you guys (you know who you are) and carried you in my pocket to come home with me.

    Even though it's nice to sleep in, relax, eat homecooked meals, and watch ridiculous amounts of bad reality tv, I must admit it's still kind of boring.

    And I've been home for less than 30 hours.

    Yeah. The most exciting part of today was when my mom bought me a new bathmat. True story.

    Sigh.

    Nashville people - come home already.

    In other news, I used to have really, really bad taste in music. Which isn't to say that my tastes in music are by any means spectacular as of now, but dear god, what was I thinking back then?

    Shitty McShit CD's I've bought:

    Korn - Life is Peachy
    Korn - Issues [So I was a huge Korn fan, eat me.]
    Puff Daddy and the Family - No Way Out [But I must say, this CD is better than any of the bullshit P. Diddy has come out with since.]
    Joan Osborne - Relish [She came out with what, one decent song?]
    Space Jam Soundtrack [Hahahaha]
    Eiffel 65 - Europop [Wait no, this CD is awesome. Stephanie can back me up on this.]
    Ma$e - Harlem World [I used to love this CD, not gonna lie.]
    Brandy - (self-titled)
    Children's Classic Film Favorites [You know how sometime other, less talented people will sing covers of good songs, and then they try to sell it? But in reality, it's just a really bootlegged version of the original? Yeah, that's what this CD is. I'm actually really suprised that Amazon even has it.]
    Titanic Soundrack
    Poison - Open Up and Say... Ahh! [IT'S MY BROTHER'S I SWEAR.]
    Marilyn Manson - Mechanical Animals [All excuses for why I have this CD are rendered futile. All I can do is apologize for even owning it.]
    Backstreet Boys - Black and Blue [BSB used to be so good. What happened? Oh, right, they became alcholics.]

    Oh, don't even. I know you have some embarrassing CD's too.

    Thursday, December 9, 2004

    This place is officially dead.

    Not really, but I have completely run out of things to talk about. Maybe it's that my life is just a boring mess.

    Or maybe it's that you smell. Bad.

    Either way, I've kind of abandoned this place. [Although I must thank a certain someone for updating for me.]

    So, what have I been doing these past few days?

    Study, study, cry, study, shoot myself in the face with killer bees, cry, and then study some more. I had three exams last week, and now I'm busy preparing for my buttons and zippers final this Friday.

    Yes. I'm studying buttons and zippers. Go ahead, laugh. I'll wait.

    Done?

    Okay.

    Before you start giving me shit about how lame this class is (which I already know, is lame to the max), look at the shirt you're wearing right now, and tell me: what kind of fabric is it made out of, what fibers are used, is it fiber or piece dyed, what is the thread count, how is it put together, what type of seams are used to sew the raw edges, how many gores are there, are the sleeves set in-the-round or in-the-flat, are there buttons, if so what type of buttons, how are the buttons sewn on, what type of thread is used, how is the dimensional stability of the overall garment, and would you classify it as high quality or low? Then, ask yourself these same questions along with 500 more, pertaining to EVERYTHING YOU OWN.

    And when you're done, take a notecard and run it across your eyeballs.

    Because a papercut in my eye would feel a hell lot better than having to study this shit.

    At least some people seek pleasure in their studying.

    Maleko706: bio has phosphodiester bonds
    Maleko706: cant beat that
    Maleko706: god that just gave me a boner

    Anyway, I'll be done on Friday. And I'm be going home on Sunday. And I. Can't. Wait.

    I'll leave you with this picture I took in Taiwan:


    Yes, Phuong. I love black cock too.

    Wednesday, December 8, 2004

    in between our blindfold
    a love forbidden lives,
    and the sensation of skin on skin
    tickles down my spine.
    holding your hands,
    softly tracing kisses
    from your hands,
    up your arms
    to your neck, beneath your chin,
    to your lips,
    and the rhythm of our breaths,
    meet in syncopation.
    our tongues dance
    in a soft tango
    as two lovers finding the steps
    to a duet sang by Eros

    _______________________________________________________________


    you know me already,
    there isn't much here that you can't see.
    nothing on the surface deceives,
    not like the catepillar into butterfly scenario,
    this is just me,
    happily groovin' to the blastin' stereo.
    live my life like a flip of the new dollar coins,
    i'm brave like susan b,
    but i trust in something else,
    in my wings that yet to shape,
    in my heart that boundlessly sails.
    where i land, you'll see my tail,
    where i'm going, i'm turning heads.