Sunday, June 19, 2005

RIP.


Happy Father's Day


I miss you daddy, wish you were here.






Wednesday, June 15, 2005

I really hate maxi-pad and tampon commercials. And that's saying a lot because I usually love commercials. But not these. I have deemed them completely unnecessary, and they kind of make me uncomfortable. For example:

Hrm... [Commercial 1]
So a guy and a girl on are on a small canoe in a lake. And the guys' all "Aww such a beautiful day... the weather, the boat..." And the girl points down to a hole in the boat with water coming out and says, "The leak". And the guy starts panicking and is like, "Oh! The leak!!!" and tries to find something to stop it. And the woman, being the hero of the day, PULLS OUT A TAMPON AND STICKS IT INTO THE HOLE. EW! Are you seriously comparing a woman's monthly menstrual fluid to an entire lake? If something like that really happened, the happy couple would have drown, or the guy would be like, "Aw hell no," and ends the date right there from the mere sight of a tampon.

[Commercial 2]
A girl runs out of Tampax. So she goes to ask her roommate, only to find her slut of a roommate sucking face with some dude whose name she does not know. So instead of waiting for a few minutes, interrupting and asking for one, or I don't know, maybe run to the convenience store to buy some of her own, she decided to go into her roommate's room anyway - mission impossible style. She pulls these really dumbass rolls and shit, and then leaves on a fucking skate board. God. Way to steal from your roommate. The one. The only. The GET YOUR OWN DAMN TAMPONS, BITCH.

Ew.[Commercial 3]
So the creative geniuses behind this one decided to coat one lawn chair with the same material that they use in Always (I think) pads, and another one with a generic brand. Then it rains. So when it's sunny again, one girl goes to lay down on the Always-covered chair and is all happy because the chair is so absorbent and dry! However, another girl goes to lay on the generic brand pad-covered chair and is shocked because it's still wet! Oh no! Okay, so imagine how much worse this would have been if had these chairs not been rained on, but rather... BLED ON. You know, the reason why pads are used, maybe? I'll just leave it at and let you do the imagining.

[Commerical 4]
A woman comes up to random women in the pad/tampon isle in a grocery store and the first thing she says to these poor unsuspecting victims is, "Does your ultra-thin ever feel wet or sticky?" Uhm. No, bitch. Please leave before I call security. But that's not even the worst part. She proceeds to show these women just how absorbent the pads are by pouring blue liquid in them. And then she uses the pads to pat herself while saying, "See? Dry!" Ew. Stop. Please tell me you don't test that with the pads you really use at home.

These commercials do not compell me to buy their products whatsoever. In fact, it makes WANT to buy generic brands solely because they don't have some shitty advertisment out. Maybe they should try some realism in their commericals next time. Like, what to do when you find out you bled onto your sheets the next morning.

My ideal maxi-pad commerical:

Woman: This pad is great!
[Cut to a picture of the product.]
[End]

In fact, pad/tampon commericals need not exist. We don't have anymore cigarette ads (the Truth ones don't count), so why not get rid of these as well? Their only purpose is to make me feel a little grossed out and uncomfortable. Kind of like the pictures I have up of Tampax and Stayfree.

That's all folks. My job is done here.

Sunday, June 12, 2005

It is 3:44 in the morning and I am just now recovering from a weekend consisting primarily of eating.

Not that I'm complaining or anything, because I love food more than I love you.

So yeah, Momzilla, Phuong, and I had a good time in Dallas. Like I said, we really didn't do much aside from eating - mine and Phuong's main forte.

The first thing we had as soon as we hit Plano was CPK, and then we had to go around the mall for a couple of hours just to walk it off. On Friday, we went to Phuong's family's restaurant to eat ridiculous amounts of sushi for the mere price of FREE. Holy crap, it was fucking delicious. As if that wasn't enough to satisfy our food cravings for at least... a day, we went to a seafood buffet for dinner. My mom and I topped off our food-fest this morning with some dim sum.

Why are we such fat fat fatties? I love it. And Stephanie - I totally have a booty-do now as well.

I would like to cap off tonight's entry with my driver's pet-peeves list. I have a lot so listen up, kids.

  • One-lane traffic for construction. Don't you Texans know that in a state with 18 million drivers, you cannot shut down 3 out of 4 lanes on a major highway? Well, obviously you can, as you so clearly demonstrated 3 times on my way home from Dallas this afternoon. But c'mon, this is getting out of hand.
  • People who brake on the interstate for no apparent reason. Hey, man, I'm going 75 mph, and when you brake like that out of no where, there is a good chance that I will ram you into oncoming traffic. And we don't want that now do we?
  • Ants crossing the road. You know how sometimes, cars will be backed up for miles and miles, and you've been sitting in traffic for over an hour, when all of a sudden, traffic disperses? And there is absolutely no reason as to why there was ever any traffic in the first place? No accidents, no construction, no nothing. What the fuck is that? People, it's time to stop watching the ants cross the road and keep moving.
  • Rush hour. Yes, we all hate it. But you don't know the true meaning of those two little words until you've been stuck in it in Texas. I never really understood the concept of rush hour anyway - if the speed limit is 65, and if everyone is going 65, then why is there so much goddamned traffic?
  • People who don't use their blinkers. C'mon, it's not that hard to use your blinkers when you need to make a turn. Sometimes, I'll leave mine on for fun just to piss people off. Haha just kidding, those people can toss my salad.
  • People who cut me off. Actually, I take that back, if you can make your way in front of me, then you deserve to be there. Props to you. However, I'll take those props back and replace it with a steaming bag of horseshit if you cut me off and then drive slower than I did before. That sucks. Don't do that.
  • Slow drivers in the left lane. Hey, the left lane is for passing only, and the only thing you're passing is a herd of turtles, so move your bitch ass over and let me by.
  • 18-Wheelers. Okay, I know you guys have to like, transport stuff. But you are big and scary and I wish you did not exist.
  • Texas interstates. Need I say more?

    What bugs YOU?

    [Edit]

    <<< It's about damn time I updated my movie list. So there it is.

  • Friday, June 3, 2005

    Wow, my boyfriend is amazing.

    So I don't really know how to follow up that incredibly amazing post, but it's almost 6am and I'm completely cracked out from drinking too much coffee earlier tonight.

    Did that last sentence even make sense? Man, I really need to go to bed at a more decent hour.

    I went over to my brother's new house tonight to help him paint his bedroom. As we were leaving, I swung my jacket over my shoulders so I could carry stuff in my hands. Right as I stepped outside the door, I felt my jacket fall to the ground, but when I bent down to pick it up, it was nowhere to be found. It wasn't until a couple mintues later when my mom found it by my car, 10 feet away from where I was standing. UHHH. I think Terence's new house has a ghost. And he already likes to play games with me.

    Phuong and I study more for ACC classes than we do for UT classes. Something is not right here. Maybe it's because we know that ACC classes are lame so we can dick around for hours without worrying about passing. Because all we need is a D to get credit for these courses.

    And we all know that D stands for Diploma.

    I am in love with Metro. They play good music, have comfy couches, free wireless, good coffee, and weird people. I AGREE! I can't wait till they and get their damn AC fixed, and start staying open 24-Hours again. Metro is going to be the new PCL. You'll catch me there every Thursday and Monday night from here on out.

    Momzilla is in town. She's mom-tastic. She buys me food! And in return, I take her to Sixth Street where I buy her lots of Flaming Dr. Peppers. We have a really tight relationship like that.

    I really hate Eminem's new song - "Ass Like That". I only mention this because the chorus is stuck in my head right now and it's making my brain bleed. IT'S SUCH A TERRIBLE SONG MAKE IT STOP. However, this musical turd does not hinder me from wanting to have hot animal sex with Eminem, because dear god I want him in my pants. Plus, that way I can cross off another thing off my 43 Things list.

    But nothing tops my absolute hatred for Family Circus.

    wj;oria8ewiuorwe3. DIE.


    WTF. I hate you, FC. You make want to set babies on fire and gouge my eyeballs out with rusty sporks. My brain literally hurts each time it tries to process these atrocities... and then, IT EXPLODES. Family Circus, WHY DO YOU SUCK SO BAD?

    Nothing riles up my anger quite like a terrible comic strip.

    Anyway, I leave you with a LONG overdue birthday shout-out to my favorite Molly McBighips.

    Aww too bad you can't get kids' discounts anymore. Sorry!


    And some embarassing fun pictures from way back when:

    Mmm oh how I miss those Tall Cakes... And HOLY CRAP THEY SURE ARE TALL!Shh, don't tell anyone, but Molly likes to play with condoms in her free time.Yay for high-school graduation. Class of 03, biatches.THOSE HIPS, OHMYGOD THOSE HIPS!
    Hot, hot pirate. And the Rhode Island thing is an inside joke. Yeah, you wouldn't understand.Us being 'tards over Spring Break 2003.Mollsey loves Texas!Finally, a decent picture of us?


    Hope you had a good birthday, Molly (even though it was like, forever ago). I totally wish I could have been there to celebrate your entrance into womanhood. You have a fabulous summer and I hope to see you soon! (Or better yet, come visit Austin again - I need my Urban Outfitters shopping-partner-in-crime.)