This past year, my mom's Christmas gift to herself was learning how to shop via the World Wide Web. Now, I understand you don't know my mom well. But just try to imagine your typical "fobby" Asian woman, completely computer illiterate (I love it when she still double-clicks on hyper-links), doesn't understand a goddamn thing I say, fuck, someone who doesn't even use articles when she speaks, shop online. But believe when I say, my mom is a motherfucking fiend when it comes to online shopping now. She bought Terence, Suzy, Winnie, and Madeline all something from different internet sites for Christmas. Amazing.

Anyway, about a week ago, she ordered me the Sonicare toothbrush from Target.com (because she loves me and cares deeply for my oral hygiene). And even though Momzilla is totally boss at internet shopping, she still manages to write me something like this:

In case you can't read that, it says:

Dear Tammy, Have a blessed and healthy year 2008. May this products will shine your teeth. Mom.

Let me repeat that last part for you in cause you missed it. MAY THIS PRODUCTS WILL SHINE YOUR TEETH.

How does someone who has lived in this country, and spoken this language for the last 17+ years still manage to talk like that? I love it.