The other day, as I was going through some old boxes, I stumbled upon my Asian Scroll of Destiny. When I opened it, all I saw was chickenscratch. But then I turned it the other way and realized that it was in Chinese. It said something along the lines of...

On your journey of life, you will learn to become a ninja and kick a lot of ass. Be one with the sword and the star. Along the way, you shall meet Hip Rapper M that will help you on your path of ninjahood. Here is a burka to conceal this scroll, and to make yourself look damn sexy.

I put the burka on. And holycrapI'msohotIcanbarelycontainmyself.

I later discovered that my ASoD was right. Within a few weeks of my incredible journey, I met Hip Rapper M while I was fighting off a band of rabid coyotes.



All M does is rap and occasionally run into me with her huge hips. She says,
My name is Tammy and I'm here to say
I'm a ninja in a brand new way
My sword may look dull and myself immobile
But my fame and my skills are known global
My eyes are Asian and oh so narrow
I'll shoot your wang off with a bow and arrow
I got your fortune cookie today
It says your dead body will be on display
My name is Tammy and I'm here to kill
I'm a ninja looking for a thrill



And then my life was complete. The end.

[Much thanks to Molly for the help on the story, poem, and pictures.]

*Sigh* I really should be studying.