For our government class, we have to turn in an essay every Friday on a topic relating to the things we discuss in class throughout the week. This week's assignment was to write a page and a half essay on: "'There exist few, if any compelling reasons why Americans today should be bound by a document written for the society of 1787.' Discuss." And in response...

The World's Worst Essay. Ever.
By: Vivian with an introductory sentence by Stephanie

The constitution was written over two centuries ago and we are still bound by it as the foundation of our national political life. However, there are several hidden racial intentions behind the Constitution. For example, the first amendment, which states that each citizen of the United States has the right to freedom of speech, is secretly a hidden and more polite way of saying that we are all allowed to talk dirty about each other. Examples of this are prevalent in everyday conditions. The founding fathers asked: What is lightning? Where does it come from? What does it mean? Does it have meaning? Where does it come from? What is made of? Is it made of light? Some might say it was made of light. Others contend that lightning is made of fire. People used to think that lightning was made of fire. Fire in the sky. Fire that killed people and knocked down trees. Before Benjamin Franklin. Benjamin Franklin was a founding father. He fatherly founded that lightning is made of electricity. Electricity in the sky. But what of the Greek myths, of the Greek god Zeus and of the popular image of Zeus - a Greek God - throwing down lightning bolts to kill people and knock down trees.
Where did he find the time? And what of lightning being made of fire? In this workday world in the era of the founding father Benjamin Franklin we have no time nor patience for such concerns. There are for the third world and schizophrenics. Some people do not understand that lightning is destructive. They ignore the wisdom of their elders and of the founding father Benjamin Franklin. They think lightning is a lie perpetrated by people with a vested interest. At their own peril!!! Lightning kills people and knocks down trees!!!!!!!! It is a power of destruction exercised by the Greek god Zeus, the mightiest of Greek gods!!! But they do it: they ignore such wisdom and taunt the powerful exercise of destruction and they worship their idle gods and stand near trees. At their peril!!!!! Lightning has the killing power to kill people and the destructive power to knock down trees! When you stand near trees, they will be knocked down by lightning and you will be killed by lightning! There is no escape. Lightning will knock down the tree and knock down your soul. Trees are tall. Many things are tall. Many things attract lightning. But do the two correlate? A recent study says yes. It says that being tall and attracting lightning do correlate. That means that being tall correlated with being struck by lightning. You die when you are struck by lightning, and your tree is knocked down. Some people try to measure lightning, they take measurements of it. They use balloons and rockets and their imagination and determination and research money and they put it all in the mixing bowl and the mix in storms - storms with lightning - and so they mix in the lightning and then they get the product if they're luck of measurements about lightning from the storm? What kind of measurements? We may never know...

Stephanie, if you don't pass this class, blame Vivian. At their peril!!!