Hello. On today's rant topic, I would like to discuss the absurdity of our metro's school system. First and foremost, I would like to point out that Pedro Garcia is an idiot. Oh, and Tennessee is what? 50th in education in the U.S.? Yeah. We suck royal ass. Okay, now that that’s out of the way, on to the more important stuff...

Dress code (this is taken directly from the newsletter I got in the mail today):
“Skirts, skorts, and shorts must reach and extend below the fingertip.” This rule does not affect me as much as it could affect others, merely because my arms are not that long, and my legs are not that short. However, what happens if a girl has obscenely long monkey arms? When a girl wears shorts, they have to be short, hence the name. If they are too long, they become capris. And then there is that awkward “in-between” stage, where shorts linger between the “shorts” and the “capris” phases. The “in-betweeners” look just plain... unpleasant. What happens if your fingertips fall right in that “in-between” area? And what if girl had really short arms? Then she’s allowed to wear shorts that are up her ass? But hey, she’s technically able to because her shorts do not extend below her fingertips.
“Topcoats may not be worn in the classroom. No more than one lightweight outer garment with pockets may be worn.” Um. I’m sorry but if it’s 5 fucking degrees outside, and our heat system doesn’t work because it hardly ever does, I am going to wear my topcoat, okay? I would rather get detention than have to suffer through a 2-week long flu.
“All pants must be worn at the waist.” I’m sorry, but *none* of my pants actually hang right on my waist. They all go on my hips. I can understand if you don’t want people sagging to the point that their whole asses are hanging out and they have to walk funny just to keep their pants on, but please, on your waist? Do they even make pants that go right at your waist now anyway? Maybe sweatpants...
“Appropriate footwear must be worn at all times. No flip-flops or house shoes.” No flip-flops?! Half of the whole school won’t have shoes to wear! I mean, there are some really *nice* looking flip-flops out there. I cannot fathom why flip-flops are considered inappropriate in any way. Maybe metro thinks they are disrespectful? They can’t be any worse than some old, beat up sandals, patched together by duct-tape. Distracting? Unless someone has a ardent foot fetish, I don’t see how they would be distracting? Dangerous? Can’t be any more dangerous than the 5 inch heels that some girls wear to school. Or those obnoxious sneakers with wheels (yes, people *have* worn them to school before). I just want to wear my flip-flops. Please?
“Tattoos that display drugs, sex, alcohol, tobacco products must not bee seen at anytime.” What if I had a tattoo of a girl sucking dick while holding a cigarette in one hand and a vodka bottle in the other hand? What? Just wondering...

Loss of teachers:
There has been extensive cuts of teachers in metro schools. We lost about 9 just in ours. And that’s not including the teachers that have been transferred or ones who decided to move or retire. The 9 teachers were cut based on seniority rule, so some of our splendid ones had to go, leaving us some of the old and unbelievably vile teachers.

Senior lunch:
Before us lucky ones got to be seniors, our school awarded an one-hour off-campus lunch to all seniors as a privilege. Now, not only do we *not* get off campus lunch, lunch time has also been reduced to 30 minutes, with an half hour of “study time”. That “study time” will last about 2 weeks. They try to do that every year but to no avail. When will they ever learn? Oh, and how are you gonna take away the one good thing about being a senior? I mean, that’s what we’ve all been waiting for since freshman year. To be able to get the hell out of school for just one glorious hour to eat some food. They say that students should eat healthier, but please, anything I eat I school would lead to bad heart problems, clogged arteries, or some rare, unknown disease. I bet you I can find food out that is 1,000 times healthier than that crap they try to feed you at school. Scared for our safety perhaps? Why do you think there are zebra lanes for? Besides, maybe you should keep an eye out for our parking lots after school. The fights that break out sometimes are obscene. I am no more secure at school than I am crossing the street to get lunch. Student council is trying to make some compensation for the loss of our lunch... they are thinking of building a “senior room” where we can go eat. And by “senior room” I mean “we are going to complain all year because we don’t have off-campus lunch anymore room”.


Just for the record, this was written purely out of fury and I needed to get it off my chest. And I do realize that it's written completely from one perspective. And now that's done with, here's how you become a ninja. I actually tried this one out. I must say, that I did look particularly kickass (not at all).