For this Thanksgiving, I'm not gonna do my usual long lists of mushy lovey-dovey bullshit that you all are so used to. If I like you, then I'm thankful for you. Enough said.

Instead, I am going to show my appreciation for, let's just say, "The Little Things".

This year, I am thankful for:

The sounds of my cat hurling up hairballs right next to my head... because I know that I have a great pet who keeps me company when no one else can.

Downloading bad 80's music and anime porn with my friends... because I know have a working fast internet connection.

Playing Kings and other various drinking games at 305 until someone throws up/passes out/jumps in the pool... because I know I have an apartment that is awesome.

Falling asleep with my roommate on her bed while watching movies... because I know that I get to do what hundreds of guys have tried to do but to no avail.

Our apartment being so fucking cold nowadays... because I know we don't have to use the AC anymore and maybe, just maybe, we can save some money on our energy bills.

Quoting movies and stand-up comedians... because I know that I am easily amused, and can entertain myself if needed.

Not getting into of my major classes this semester because UT's add/drop system sucks balls... because I got to take classes that are easy and don't take attendance instead.

Cain and Able's on Tuesday nights... because I know I can get drunk for one whole dollar.

Having awesome bed hair and Phuong always there to point it out... because at least I know I got a good night's sleep.

Not getting into a relationship this semester even though I am envious of everyone who is... because I know I would probably fuck it up big time as soon as I get home from Christmas break.

Going to a strip club and getting really turned on by all the hot strippers, and fully admitting it... because I know I am comfortable enough in my sexuality to say, "Hey, I might be a little gay."

Seeing my managers out on 6th Street and calling at least 4 of my co-workers when I was completely incoherent... because I know now we have something more interesting to discuss when I'm at work.

Having the most ridiculous love handles, EVER... because hey, look! Something for you to grab on to when we dance.

The Ying-Yang Twins... because I can't get down with any other songs quite like with the shitty music The YYT puts out.

Going movie hopping with my favorite people, but not before stopping by a gas station to stock up on drinks/snacks/hamburgers/burritos/a small baby to sneak into the movie theater... because being cheap is cool.

Owning an 21+ ID... because half of the stuff I mention here wouldn't have been possible without one.

Going to Buffet Palace and eating until it literally hurts to breathe... because nothing quite exemplies how fat of a country the US really is like my friends and I gorging ourselves at an all-you-can-eat buffet.

Britney Spears' body going to shit before she got pregnant... because nothing's better than seeing a hot celebrity completely losing herself, and therefore giving me faith once again in the human race.

"George Bush hates black people."... because that shit's funny, and I love Kanye West even more now.

Taking the fugliest pictures known to man... because in reality, we all know that I'm the cutest person in the world.

E-Bus, in the middle of the street... because have YOU ever tried walking to and from 6th? (Okay Stephanie, you don't count.)

Helping my sister-in-law deliver her baby... because even though it was the most beautiful thing I had ever witnessed, it also served as the best form of birth-control, ever.

My enormous head... because a big head looks better in hats... and it sure beats having a tiny head.

UT football... because we are bad-ass motherfuckers this year. A BAMF, if you will.

Giving new meaning to my away message, "Wanna roll around?"... because well, if you know what I'm talking about, then you'll know how amazing it was.

Richard telling me, "Tammy, you look like you have Down's Syndrome"... because... no wait, fuck that... THAT'S MEAN.

And of course... I'm thankful for all you bitches (you know who I'm talkin to)... because without you guys, 2005 just wouldn't have been the same.






This all being said,
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!