I'm going back home in two weeks for my Spring break.

When The Mom told me that she bought me a plane ticket home a couple weeks ago, I was disappointed to say the least. It was my Spring break! I had big (okay, not really) plans to go somewhere and get shitty for a week straight. I could have gone to:

VEGAS
Pros: Uhm... it's fuckin' Vegas. And I would have probably gone with Sivan, whom I haven't seen since the summer after Senior year.
Cons: Chances are, I'd gamble away my money... and my soul.

SOUTH PADRE
Pros: Closest Spring break "Hot Spot" to Austin. It's only about a 7 hour drive (no plane ticket!) and it's 30 minutes away from Mexico.
Cons: I'd more than likely do something illegal in Mexcio and not be able to return to the US.

THE LAKE
Pros: Only about an hour away from Austin, in a nice little lake house. And if the weather permits, you can go Sea-Dooing!
Cons: Even if weather permits, the water will be so cold that you won't be able to feel your body for an hour after you go out. Also, starting our drunk-fest at 11 in the morning can't be good for my liver. Oh, and uh, no sexual marathon this time around.

ROAD TRIP
Pros: Road trips with friends are fun!
Cons: First of all, it takes at least 6 hours just to get OUT of Texas. Then you can either go into: New Mexico, Oklahoma, Arkansas, or Lousiana. BOOORING.

AUSTIN
Pros: Shit, it's the cheapest thing I could possibly do. And 6th Street is always a crowd pleaser.
Cons: 6th Street isn't going to be fun if THERE IS NO CROWD TO PLEASE. I'm pretty sure all of my friends are going somewhere for Spring break, and I sure as hell ain't going downtown by myself. Cause then I'd be no different than one of those creepy gross Hispanic guys who go to bars alone to check out cute girls.

Then I realized that I'm the biggest alcoholic in the world. So maybe it's a good thing that I'm going home this year - spend a week in detox. HAHA. Okay, I'm not that bad, I promise. I actually am pretty excited about going home now because you all know how much I love Nashville. And the more I think about it, I see that there are more pros to going home than cons, since I know that A.) I'll be safe, B.) My liver can take a break, C.) I probably won't spend any nights in jail, D.) Emily, Molly, Esther, and Mike will be there, E.) I won't be sexually harrassed by 40 year old men, and F.) Free stuff. Besides, family always comes first in my... uh... family.

A visual demonstration, in case you don't understand:

I get to see these sexy ones.



And more importantly, this beautiful one.



But unfortunately, not these hot ones.



That all being said, I'll be returning to Austin on the 18th. And all you bitches need to be here because I'm turning the big 2-1 (or, 2-3, according to my ID), and I'm going out big this year. I'M GOING TO TAKE 21 SHOTS. Okay, that's a lie, since we all know that I'll be done after two.