It never fails. For the past four Thursdays, I have:

Gone out to Sixth

Gotten my BAC level higher than the legal limit

Seen the same goddamn people at Bar Asia - remind me again why we always choose to end up there?

NOT gotten the bratwurst I so secretly desire

Drunk dialed my boyfriend and probably told him some really embarrassing things

Fallen asleep without brushing my teeth or washing my face - yuck

Got woken up by the fucking leaf-blower guy at 8 in the fucking morning

Been too incapacitated to do anything else for the rest of the weekend

Ahh, there's nothing quite like spending a lovely Friday morning with a delicious hangover.

I'm going to try to go back to sleep now. But before I go, lettme ask you this question:

When did it become funny to slip something into a girl's drink, and when she catches you red-handed, proceed to tell her that it's Tylenol and you were just joking around? Yeah, real fucking hilarious, asshole. I hope your arms fall off in a fit of joy.