So remember that story that Molly and I promised you? Well here it is. A few days late, but it's here nonetheless. You all should be so proud.

Smirnoff from Heaven.

One day, Hips and Tamzilla decided to pack. But by pack, they mean Hips would pack while Tamzilla jams on her awesome melodian (What? You've never heard of a melodian? Where have you been? All the cool kids have them now.)

Whilst cleaning off a shelf, Tamzilla found a binder, in which she saved all of her emails from when she was a loser (no, not last year... from her old HH days). There were different sections in it such as "Funnies" and sections from certain people. The last section, which was definitely something that Hips could relate to, was entitled "Asian Pride". That is when you know someone is truly Fobulous... When they save e-mails and label them as "Asian Pride".

Lubricated condoms are gross. They kinda smell bad too. Tamzilla contributed one from her stash (which she got from Alkie who got them from GW Bush's nephew. So essentially, it's a Bush condom. Haha... Bush. Get it?) Anyway, they took one out so that we could feel the "Ultra ribbed-ness" it claimed to have. Instead, they got lubed. And lubricant is not exactly something you would want to have all over your hands. But then again, the purpose of condoms isn't really to be filled up with water and thrown at each other. But they must say, condoms can double as water balloons. However, they must ask that if you use one for one purpose, then please don't use it for the other.

Hats are funny. Wait, no. Tamzilla's hats are funny. Wait. Anything Tamzilla has is funny. Especially her face. Anyway. Not much needs to be said about that. Just look, and you will know.

Hips' hips are huge. Too bad her face doesn't match. Just look at the glasses.

The name Jenga sounds Asian, which makes sense since Tamzilla likes it so much.

Just for the record, Tamzilla and Hips are now experts on how to get to Steak 'n' Shake (or Shake 'n' Steak as Tamzilla calls it). You could either go down Caruthers until it dead ends with no lights (where it is fun to whisper) or you can go one more exit down, where it is on the left. Yeah. That was a fun hour. Mmmm. Cheese Fries...

Speaking of MMM. That could be Hips' initials one day. Look how excited she is.

Oh, so did you know? Tamzilla went to Africa to vist her friend Simba. She loves to befriend wild animals. She also loves the sun setting in the background.

Showers are very difficult to take when there are boxes filling the bathtub. And when you have all your clothes on. And when there’s no water. But it was okay. Hips had a loofah. Loofahs make everything okay.

So, about 14 crappily packed boxes later, the fun was discovered. As Tamzilla was going through her closet, she came across three bottles of alcohol in a Smirnoff case [though two of the bottles were Mike's Hard Lemonade]. She had absolutely no idea where they were from and how on Earth they got into the back of her closet. That's when Hips and Tamzilla decided that Smirnoff comes from Heaven. At least the kind you find in closets. And that's when they decided to spruce the night up a little and make the night even more fun... And they don’t remember much after that.

The end.

Tamzilla and Hips hopes your new year is filled with Smirnoff falling from Heaven. We love you.