I've worked every single day since last Monday (excluding Christmas) - not just at Barton Creek, but at Highland Mall as well. I'm fuckin' worn out. I'm so sick of J. Crew - the clothes, the visuals, the clientelle, the "I bought my girlfriend this jacket at full price but now it's 40% off, can't I just return it and buy it again with the discount?"

Going home couldn't have come at a better time. I'm flying back to Nashville tomorrow afternoon and will be there for a week. So if you're there, I better see you motherfuckers.

Can't wait, can't wait!

Dear lady who would not spend $3.24 on a really cute tank top,

40 percent off of $4.99 does not equal a dollar. And since when have you not paid a sales tax while living in Texas? Please learn some fucking 3rd grade math. I don't know how you made it this far in life without learning simple arithmetic.

Sincerely,
Tammy

Wow. I did not expect to get 7 cookies by Christmas. You guys continually surprise me. Guess I'm gonna have to start finding good stories to write about for the new year. In the spirit of this holiday, I leave you all with quite possibly, the BEST Christmas message of all time from my dear friend, Stephanie (hope you don't kill me!).

And yes, I think your tongue ring is very sexy.

Hope you all had a great Christmas (and didn't spend half of it being hungover from playing Kings with wine the night before)!

Love,
Me

If I can get 7 cookies from 7 different people by New Years, I'll start writing here on a regular basis again.

Ready?... GO.

I got my car towed, booted, and ticketed - all in less than 24 hours.

God, I hate life so much right now it's not even funny.




But at least I have you, Amp'd Mobile guy:

I've worked a total of 44.6 hours these past 5 days just to make the store look good. I think my life revolves around J. Crew now, because at this point, I see and talk to my co-workers more than I see and talk to my own friends. It's kind of pathetic, really... But at least my store is TOTALLY prettier than yours now.


Weekend, I welcome thee.

I get this note on our front door today:

Dear Voyageurs Residents,

There has been a report of a peeping tom in the area. If you witness ANY suspicious activity related to this incident or of any variety we ask that you please contact the police at 911 with the uttmost urgency and then please notify us.

Also make sure to take any and all possible security precautions. Always lock doors and windows, even when you're at home. Keep track of any spare keys. And never hesitate to call the police if you suspect something is potentiall unsafe or unlawful.

Then my next door neighbor proceeds to tell me that she was the one who called in the peeping tom. She caught him looking in on her window with a flash light.

Greeeeaaat.

[Edit]
p u ff y b u s h: econo lodge?
p u ff y b u s h: and peeping toms. haha
p u ff y b u s h: austin is classy
[/Edit]

Fuck you, manager from Econo Lodge.


God, what a shitty weekend. I need a pick-me-up.

YAY! Tammy and Foo-Dong have internet and cable TV now!

And everything in the world seems right again.

The new Justin Timberlake - FutureSex/LoveSounds CD is FREAKING good.


I want to make babies to it. Like, ten of them. Simutaneously. I don't even know how that would work, but that's what I want to do.


Get the album. That is all.

My phone blew up today.

I was trying to return my brother's phone call this afternoon when the screen on my phone went blank. I restarted it, only to see the blank screen again. I had no choice but to take the little shit to the Sprint store. I said to the chick who helped me, "Naw-aw, bitch. This time, it's YOUR shitty-ass phone's fault for breaking. I didn't drop it, nor swim with it, nor chuck it against someone's head. YOU fix it."

She couldn't. She said that my phone's completely fried, and the technician couldn't get anything off of it.

So they gave me this phone instead:

Woohoo! I'm a winner!

But. This means, that unless you put your number on Facebook or you're in ASR, I don't have your number anymore. So, GIMME! :D

Having no internet or cable TV is sucks.

I miss you, Xanga, Facebook, MySpace, Google, AIM, e-mails.

I miss you, Food Network, cartoons, CSI, The Daily Show, Nip/Tuck, Magic Bullet infomercial.

All I have here is a stinky bathroom that perpetually smells like fart. True story.

So if you get a chance, come play with me and Phuong (since we have nothing else to do) in North Campus! 31st and Speedway is the place to be.

I'm done with driving. DONE.

In just the past 10 days, I've put over 2,100 miles on my poor little Altima.

So, no, you do not get a ride.

No, I will not pick you up (except for you, Richard - but only cause it's like, your 30th birthday and I understand that you're getting old and can't get around as easily).

And, no, you cannot borrow my car.

Sha-nay-nay needs a break.

In spirit of Independence Day, I opted to update my Radio.Blog. You know, cause Kelly Clarkson and declaring our freedom from Great Britain over 200 years ago totally coincide with each other.

Enjoy.

The Alchemist feat. Prodigy, Illa Ghee, and Nina Sky - Hold you Down: My boyfriend made me a mix CD and put this song on there, and I'm in love with it. Especially the line that goes, "If you hop in the truck, first thing you're gonna go (down)." Hot.

Boy Sets Fire - My Life in the Knife Trade: I think I put this song up the first time I had my Radio... I guess I just must really like this song or something. I must also really enjoy listening to whiney bitch music too.

Juliet - Avalon: I think I have a total of 3 trance-ish songs on my computer. And that's probably 2 too many. I do, however, think this song is sexy, if that is even possible. I can't wait to listen to it when... well, you know...

Gnarls Barkley - Crazy: Everyone and their moms loves this song. But really, how could you not? The video is just as good, to boot. Aw, Cee-Lo Green, you're the man.

Sneaker Pimps - Sick: Remember that one hit song that Sneaker Pimps came out with many years ago called "6 Underground"? Well, this song is better.

Kelly Clarkson - Addicted: I'm gonna find a way to get Kelly Clarkson to marry me one of these days. Or maybe I could just get her to sing at my wedding? Anyway, I love her and I'm not afraid to admit it. I mean, just listen to her vocals on this track. *Sigh*

Kelis - Bossy: I just realized that these past 4 songs are so adjective-driven. But I digress. Kelis is damn sexy. And her songs are always so catchy, I just can't help but want to get naked and dance around while listening to her.

Quidam - Steel Dream: This is GREAT to wake up to in the middle of the night, I promise. It's actually a song from Cirque du Soleil: Quidam, but it's also Track #4 to the soundtrack of my nightmares.

Pornos for Pyros - Pets: Man, I first heard this song with my babysitter when I was like, 9 years old. I used to think that the lead singer was saying "We'd make grape pants, we'd MAKE grape pants." Seriously.

Tori Amos - Leather: Tori rocks me so hard that it was difficult for me to decided which song to put up. So, wait like, another 3 years and I'll put up some more good shit of hers. Maybe.

Dungeon Family - Follow the Light: DF's Even in Darkness is one of my favorite hip-hop CDs to this day. I almost want to say I like them even more than Outkast *gasp*! Anyway, this is definitely my favorite song off the CD. Best line is when Cee-Lo says Jesus is his older brother... WHAT?

The Weakerthans - Left and Leaving: I like to listen to this song when I want to think about my past and wallow in a pool of self-pity. No but really, the lyrics are really amazing.

Pink Floyd - The Great Gig in the Sky: Just cause it's Pink-fuckin'-Floyd.

Jason Mraz - I'm Yours: This is one of the cutest songs ever, and because I'm a sentimental little pussy, I dedicate it my lover, Hercules. Wait no, Mike. Aw, I love you.

Paris Hilton - The Stars are Blind: HAHA. Because it's fucking funny and you know it.

Our new J. Crew just opened last Tuesday at Barton Creek mall. The store has been my second home since I've been back - in just about a week and a half, I think I've put in almost 100 hours into making our store look beautiful. It's also kind of exciting to find out after I've been away for 5 weeks that I got promoted AND a raise.

Too bad most of my money is going towards bills and food. Sigh.

Anyway, all of our hard work definitely paid off cause we killed our MTD plan in just one week. Hurray!

So yeah, I'll be working a lot now that it's summer, so you should totally come visit me. We're located downstairs in the Nordstroms wing - come buy stuff, or at least come look at the flipflops I hot-glued to the wall.

[Edit]

Lee-Ting sent me this IM yesterday:

tingerhopper: i saw this and thought of you: [Link] :-)

Aw, it's a ring ring ring ring ring ring ring, Banana Phone! I want it. It's GENIUS.

[/Edit]

Phuong's right. Everyone is abandoning their Xangas and (since none of you bitches use Blogger) I've been completely neglecting this place as well. But you know what, after five... that's right, FIVE years, of updating here on a regular basis, I'm just shit out of stories.

Then again, no one comes here to read my lame-ass stories anyway, you come here for the pictures - don't even lie.

And always one to please, here are some of pictures that were taken in the few weeks of my absence. The picture quality is real shitty now that I've resized them, but they'll do. And don't forget to mouseover for comments!

Okay, I'm done.

To Mikey - thank you for an amazing 5 weeks. I've seen, tasted, heard, and felt some of the most incredible things and I'm so glad that I got to do it all with you. You mean more to me than you'll ever know. I love you and you better come back to me soon!

Okay, now I'm really done.

I'm baaaaack.

Aw, I've missed you guys.

Pictures/stories to come later.

I got this message on MySpace the other day:

In case you don't know what BangBus is, you really should check it out.

Porn industry, here I come cum!

...






Sigh. This is worse than the "Wut It Dew" guy.

MySpace: 2      Tammy: 0

Happy birthday, Blog. It's been an amazing 5 years.

Happy Cinco de Mayo, kids... or as I like to call it "Feliz Navidad".

I had a real shitty day at work today. i was supposed t o get off at 6pm an d didnt end up leaving until 10:30. theresfore, I'm tired and i'm drunk.

But I love you gys. For serious.

I'm goint to dalls tomorrow ith my favotiete so yo ugusy ahve a great weekend without us here! Try not to miss ups too much. :D

Love,
tammy

I think my leg is going to fall off.

On Sunday, we had a BBQ by the pool and I got bit by what I thought was a mosquito.

Now, are mosquito bites supposed to cover a third of your upper leg?

The whole area is hot to the touch, I can feel it through my jeans, and it itches like hell. It's also so swollen that it hurts to walk on it.

I've decided to name it Helga. Because it reminds me of Helga from the Oblongs: fat and ugly. :(



Go away, Helga.

We had an awesome formal last night. I...

Got successfully hammered by 5pm.

Got even more drunk at the hotel.

Saw all ten of my beautiful Lambdas cross. They really are the Perfect 10.

Cried like a little bitch.

Saw our awesome alumns. Barbara, Ann, Vora, Lee Ting, and JK, (Stephanie, we missed you) come back and visit often! Don't be a stranger.

Ate shitty steak. Man, I was so excited about it too, but it was totally overdone. Booo, what a waste of 40 doll-hairs.

Swore a lot throughout my speeches. [Sorry for the vulgarity guys, I don't even notice it anymore.]

Saw my ten little ones all get completely obliterated at their afterparty. Mission: Ownage COMPLETE.

Took a crapload of pictures:



Click to enlarge; Mouseover for comments.
If you want to see more, look on Facebook.

Rwar rwar rwar.