I'm bored. Also, I'm a smelly pirate hooker.

Your turn!

Speaking of which, I finally got the lovin' I needed. It had been way too long since I'd been with a guy. And it was delicious.

[Edit]
Man, I was just joking about being a ho, but it turns out, I really am one. My purity has dropped 11.25% in a span of less than 15 months. Jesus, Tammy. Keep your legs closed.
[/Edit]